A 10 year old and a bow and arrow

Discussion in 'HPFF Comedy' started by DIRSUPop, Apr 10, 2018.

  1. DIRSUPop

    DIRSUPop Supporting Member

    Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Those are some tough “sumbiches”.

    That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old cowboys and indians fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.

    One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and saw a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether).

    A light bulb went off in my head.

    I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let’s face it, to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn’t “sound” flammable.

    So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

    At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder.

    My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz. (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?

    You know what? Screw that I’m going back in the house for the other can, so I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we’re cookin’.

    I stepped back about 15 ft. and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck… OH SHOOT! He just got home from work.

    So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.

    I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot!

    When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don’t know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft. above the ground as far as I could see.

    It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

    The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this… THE COTTON PICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

    There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said “was”. That sucker got up and ran off.

    So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Red Ryder T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport, having what I can only assume is, a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU’RE BRINGIN’ EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

    His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard.

    There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

    I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don’t know - I know I said something. I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t hear inside my own head.

    I don’t think he heard me either… not that it would really matter. I don’t remember much from this point on.

    I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later….repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.

    I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming “Bring him back to life so I can kill him again”. Thanks Mom.

    One thing is for sure… I never had to mow around that stump again.

    Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

    Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It’s good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

    Author Unknown
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  2. ridgeryder

    ridgeryder Member

    Ahhh... childhood, back in the good old days.
    SWAGA likes this.

  3. Dagwood

    Dagwood Supporting Member

    That was AWESOME!!!!
    SWAGA likes this.
  4. Dane

    Dane + unkown number of likes Supporting Member

    Am I the only one disappointed to read at the end it wasn't his story?? :)
  5. jd kenworthy

    jd kenworthy Member

    almost spit my coffee out was laughing s hard when that blast went off
    SWAGA likes this.
  6. SDProf

    SDProf Supporting Member

    That belongs in the collection of classic tales, like the one about the guy that tried the taser on himself.
  7. Dagwood

    Dagwood Supporting Member

    Either way, that was a great story! I don't think it matters that it isn't his story.
  8. histed

    histed Supporting Member

    I don' care you yar, that's funny right there
    EvilE424 and SWAGA like this.
  9. The best story I have heard in a long time. I am afraid my Grandson will be headed down the same path of adventures. He is 6 and already wrecked 2 different golf carts and 1 side by side. He gets about 3 weeks out of the back tire on his bicycle. Childhood is GREAT.
    moona11 likes this.
  10. ArmyScout

    ArmyScout Supporting Member

    I have to tell everyone, I had somewhat of a situation with one of those toy bow & arrow sets they sold back in the 40's and 50's. A kid named Steve, my age, lived next door and we were good friends. His dad bought him one of those bow & arrow sets and we played a lot with it. Of course we removed the arrow's rubber tips and sharpened the tip. Anyway across the street there was a kid about 2 yrs younger than us name Arnold. One day we were playing with the bow & arrow, and he wanted to see it. So we went over to his house and was shooting arrows at a large cardboard box with a bulls eye drawn on it. Anyway we asked Arnold to hold the box while Steve shot at the box. He said OK, picked up the box and was standing about 20 ft from us. Steve was messing with the bow, and Arnold got tired of holding the box, so he moved the box and stuck out his head about the time ole Steve fired an arrow. It bounced off ole Arnold dead center in his forehead. It started to bleed and he started to scream, and yell. His mom came out and was she ever "Poed" Steve and I ran back across the street to our homes. When our Dads found out about it, I got a good whipen and could not play with Steve for a month. To this day I can still see that arrow hitting ole Arnold right in the middle of his forehead. Best shot the two of us every made. Yuk Yuk
    SWAGA, eldarbeast and moona11 like this.
  11. eldarbeast

    eldarbeast Supporting Member

    Dirt clod fights!
    BB gun fights!
    Roman Candle fights!
    Bottle rocket fights!

    Ya'll get the picture. No one was ever seriously injured, although, several of us suffered near crippling wounds to our posteriors.

    Daisy still makes and sells the Model 25 pump BB rifle for about $50.00 plus s&h on their web sight. Location

    SWAGA, EvilE424, histed and 1 other person like this.
  12. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    Shit eldar this kind of fun was what made summers fun. Nowadays it makes you a terrorist.

    Kids will never learn the joy of maiming your best friend
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  13. EvilE424

    EvilE424 Death to Dishonor Lifetime Supporter

    Lots of memories of such antics...sigh our kids will never know the joy
    eldarbeast likes this.
  14. SWAGA

    SWAGA Lifetime Supporter

    What me and my buddies used to do was take fireworks and peell off the paper till they fit in the barrel of a toy gun with the stop drilled out. This is like 6-10
    Till one day you didn’t feel your fingers for three days.
    I’ve shot my sister in the eye with a bottle cap gun.
    As a teenager thought it was a good idea to fill airline style liquor bottles ( the little ones) with powder from fire works then hide behind a bush.
    As a 13 year old I was tasked to start a BBQ fire and after several attempts I lost my patience and went to get some gasoline.
    Poured the gas over coals warm from all the previous starting attempts.
    Then went to look for matches as I’d run out.
    Struck a match and BOOM was literally blown back 10 feet.
    Cast iron grill inserts came falling back from the skies.
    Eyebrows gone, hair gone and right arm second degree burns. The day before we left for a beach vacation.
    To this day I have marks on my right arm.
    These days I only play with guns.

    The adult version funny

    The adult version NOT funny
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2018
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  15. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

    NE Utah
    IMHO...If we let them maim each other "just a little" when they are young and can't do it very well, they are less likely to do it for real later.:confused:

    The teacher across the hall from me had a BB removed from his hand a few years ago when it started causing issues...his best friend SWORE the thing was unloaded, it was just the air that made him bleed; but 20 years later, that was proven to be a fabrication.:p The best friend felt so bad, he covered the deductible on the surgery.:D

    Dirt clods on the end of a handful of weeds...you could sling them WAY up in the air to drop down in the other guys fort; best grenades we ever used, and even better after a light rain.:)

    I swear THAT is why I was pretty good at the throws in track. If you can chuck a dirt clod grenade, you can chuck a discus.:banana:
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  16. Littleguy1

    Littleguy1 Member

    I remember taking a bow out in the back yard and shooting the arrow straight up in the air and then running on the porch so we didn't get hit by the arrow when it came down. Not real smart but we lived through that and many more stupid things.
    moona11 likes this.
  17. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    Lawn darts. Remember these instruments of death? We would toss them straight up in the air. First to move was chicken. I'm surprised none of us lived.
  18. ridgeryder

    ridgeryder Member

    I think Ajole has a good point; as kids (50+ years ago), in social matters our parents held us to a strict standard (like behaving in church & school). We also had chores assigned, and were held responsible for their completion.

    But when it came to play, they pretty much let us run wild. We learned the hard way what happened when you went to far, and how much pain was tolerable. I remember our school play ground was asphalt, didn't stop us (I dare ya to ...). Now, they're all bark mulch, at least around here.

    I was raised in farm country, and most were taught how to use a .22, and had their own. Most of the wildlife around was considered vermin that would damage crops & livestock, so hunting them was considered beneficial to the community.

    We learned the consequences of hunting; what death was, and that it was painful & permanent. We also learned the other choice, did the weasel live or did the chickens?

    So, to Ajoles point; I think we learned where fun & games stopped, and when things turned serious, deadly serious.
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