Ask the Wizard anything and I will answer truthfully

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by wizard, Sep 30, 2015.

  1. wizard

    wizard Well-Known Member

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    Well I will answer most questions :rolleyes:
     
  2. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    Does mole cause a stirring in your loins?
     

  3. Can elephants jump?
     
  4. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

    34,826
    11,301
    NE Utah
    Does a duck's quack echo? Why or why not?


    Here's a good one, not all questions, but close enough...

    Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
    Time Limit: Four hours.
    Begin immediately.


    HISTORY:

    Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day,
    concentrating especially but not exclusively, on its social, political,
    economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and
    Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.


    GEOGRAPHY:

    Predict the position of the tectonic plates as they will appear two
    billion years from now. Be prepared to prove your results.


    MEDICINE:

    You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of
    Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been
    inspected. You have fifteen minutes.


    BIOLOGY:

    Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this
    form of life had developed 500 million years earlier with special attention
    to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your
    thesis.


    PUBLIC SPEAKING:

    2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them.
    You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.


    ART:

    Give an objective analysis of the relative significance and quality of
    the works of the major artists of the past three millenia. Be specific,
    and prove your analysis with detailed examples.


    MUSIC:

    Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum.
    You will find a piano under your seat.


    PSYCHOLOGY:

    Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability,
    degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of each of the following:

    o Alexander of Aphrodisias
    o Ramses II
    o Gregory of Nicea
    o Hammurabi

    Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making
    appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.


    SOCIOLOGY:

    Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the
    world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.


    COMPUTER SCIENCE:

    Write a program that will end world hunger and homelessness. You may use
    the computer console next to you, however use of a modem or any other
    communications device is prohibited, as is the use of electricity.


    ENGINEERING:

    The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on
    your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili.
    In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take
    whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.


    PHYSICS:

    Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the
    impact of the development of mathematics on science.


    ASTRONOMY:

    Create a miniature stellar fusion reaction, and describe in detail the
    effects of close-range stellar radiation on human flesh.


    POLITICAL SCIENCE:

    There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III.
    Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.


    EPISTEMOLOGY:

    Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.


    RELIGIOUS STUDIES:

    Prove or disprove the existence of God, without the use of religious
    texts over a century old. Be specific, and include a discussion
    on the possible true meanings and uses for the Tetragrammaton. Also
    be prepared show how your proof relates to the national debt and
    the watergate scandal.


    ECONOMICS

    Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the
    possible effects of your plan in the following areas:

    o cubism
    o the Donatist controversy
    o the wave theory of light

    Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from
    all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of
    view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.


    PHILOSOPHY:

    Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance.
    Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.


    GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:

    Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.


    EXTRA CREDIT:

    Define the Universe; give three examples.
     
  5. sarahsmom

    sarahsmom Supporting Member

    Lol! That was great, Ajole!
     
  6. FlashBang

    FlashBang I Stand With Talon Lifetime Supporter

    Ajole... those questions are racist and I don't have to do them... CAIR said so!
    Want to see my clock????

    .
     
  7. wizard

    wizard Well-Known Member

    322
    1
    I have feelings of tenderness in my sirloins
     
  8. wizard

    wizard Well-Known Member

    322
    1
    Yes but not high only a few mm's so its not easy to see with
    the bare naked eye.
     
  9. Bull

    Bull Just a Man Supporting Member


    The answer is 42.... (Drops microphone)
     
  10. sarahsmom

    sarahsmom Supporting Member

    :thumbup::thumbup:
     
  11. wizard

    wizard Well-Known Member

    322
    1
    Of course even more so in the Grand Canyon

    They pope has been around a long time. This religious movement has
    had a great impact on Catholics and not so much on non-Catholics.

    All the plates will come together once again and Sarah Palin will not
    only see Russia, from her home but can walk over to it.

    Completed above task while the movie Saw 3 plays in the background.

    Life created and approved by both the house of Lords, and Commons..also
    spotted was former PM Gordon Brown giving a hand clap.

    I told them I was the modern day Crocodile Dundee. It went well.

    Vincent Van Gogh was a truely great man. He was a foreign man
    and had changed his name to "Van Go" but he was not the best speller.

    He said that life imitates art and not the other way around.

    Completed!

    Alexander of Aphrodisias he did not like the females...

    Ramses II The great founder of Doge Ramses trucks and later shortened
    to Ram...

    Gregory of Nicea was the first king eunuch of the Amazonias which was
    sad for him...

    Hammurabi yes how could we forget him. So much to say I can not type it
    all out here....

    Communism, Socialism and Capitalism all three ways to one ISM..there will
    be only one in the end.

    All done and with a Commador 64

    Bengal tiger was saved and injury was avoided. Swahili man found dead but
    I am not sure if it was me or the tiger as it happened so fast.

    Dark matter..its the future

    It stings a little more than a bee but less than a wasp

    Putin called awaiting results now

    I don't think the Queen and Moona are really married. I thinks its some kind of hoax that they use to protect the Queen. I can back this thesis up by my feelings that its not true.

    He is real

    National debt and watergate is the politicians fault

    cubism - always wanting money from momma bear (Russia)

    the Donatist controversy - Donating in order to make yourself understand
    that giving away money is not a good plan.

    the wave theory of light - Light travels at the spend of light and money at the speed of a quarter being dropped on the floor.

    Its like this cool bar graph and it keeps climbing as the years roll by
    but the apes it sort of climbed too but stopped at a certain level.

    Working your way up to becoming a General takes a lot of work. Speed loading helps a lot to make you ready for the military and then you can take it from there.

    Sun, Moon and the Stars...lets see them all work together as a unit.
     
  12. wizard

    wizard Well-Known Member

    322
    1
    Well I can see ajole, wanted me to work for my money tonight :D
     
  13. undeRGRound

    undeRGRound ROLL wif Da MOLE! Supporting Member

    25,552
    1,703
    INDY
    WINNING!
    Take that, 'Holey :D
     
  14. wizard

    wizard Well-Known Member

    322
    1
    I am surprised no asked me about my past in Black Water
     
  15. talon

    talon the banned wagon

    42. The answer is 42.
     
  16. OldOutlaw

    OldOutlaw Supporting Member

    Why? Everyone knows when you wade around in that muck you end up smelling bad.:p
     
  17. OldOutlaw

    OldOutlaw Supporting Member

    Who is buried in Grants Tomb? :confused:
     
  18. sarahsmom

    sarahsmom Supporting Member

    Touche, Wizard!
    Ajole 1, Wizard 1
     
  19. cicpup

    cicpup Resident PITA Supporting Member

    15,944
    5,825
    Vermont
    Have you always been an attention whore?

    Been here 10 days and started 14 self-serving threads. Must be a new "Lookit Me" record.
     
  20. OldOutlaw

    OldOutlaw Supporting Member

    Brothers and Sisters have I none,
    but that man's father is my fathers son.

    Who is he?