CCW permit and divorce question

Discussion in 'CCW & Open Carry' started by Carpe_Jugulum, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. OK so I got my CCW permit last week. So here is the question, my kid (who will be 12 in a month) knows about it and the other guns, but won't say anything to the EX 'cause he figures she'll get worked up. So do/should I inform her about the CCW?

    I honestly don't know if she'll be a pain or not. Anybody here been in the same boat or have any advice?
  2. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

    If you carry it onto her property, YES.
    If you meet in a neutral locale, NO.
    If you want her to know, YES.
    If you don't want her to know, NO.

  3. Well I don't go into her condo so the property problem is moot and I'm kind indeferent about telling her it's the question of do I have to? And can she cause problems if she knows
  4. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

    Do you have to tell your neighbor, your kid's teacher(s), your Parents, or your pastor? NO.
    I see no reason you must tell her about it since you will not carry on her property.
    Does anyone else with an opposite view of this?
  5. elguapo

    elguapo Guest

    If you dont go onto her property, why does she need to know? You are divorced, correct?
  6. Oneofsix

    Oneofsix Member

    I agree with Strangerous-no need to know if you're not carrying on her property. For that matter, I have tried to make it my own policy not to tell anyone. Wife knows? Absolutely, she's on board. Have I broken my own rule? Yes, and immediately regretted it. I have even second guessed myself on telling my own kids, cause they get diarrhea of the mouth occasionally.
    Not saying yours will. If he figures she'll get worked up about your CCW and won't tell her, why should you? He must have some insight you may not have anymore.
    Can she cause problems if she knows? YES. If she's the type to cause trouble just because it'll hurt you, then you better plan on it. So don't give anyone ammo with which they might shoot you, so to speak.
  7. My ex wife never knew and my new wife found out about a year after we were married.
  8. Do you have any weapons around your son, and if so does she know?

    That would be the only think I would really be worried about. Everything else is your business like the posters above said.
  9. Yeah, but nothing loaded! I was considering broaching the subject of getting him into a gun safty class this summer by pointing out the fact that I have a 10/22 and I would feel better if he took the class. He's very level headed about guns so I'm not that worried but I think she might get uptight.
  10. That is what I was wondering.

    The problem is that the child is hers too, and if she raised hell about you having weapons around the child or something similar, it may cause trouble for you especially if she got you in front of a gun hating judge.

    I suppose a lot depends on whether your divorce was a friendly one, or her attitude to firearms.

    I have a couple of friends that their ex's dont even want them taking their sons fishing because they know that would make the guys happy, you know?

    Good luck!

  11. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

    He's YOUR kid too though. You don't need her permission to teach your son to shoot. It's really none of her damn business if you have a CWP, even IF you carry on her property (which you don't). Unless the laws in your state say that you have to inform someone when you're on their property, then just keep your mouth shut.

    And teach that boy to shoot. ;)
  12. A friendly one, hmm, No. No it was not.

    To give you an idea of what it turns out she was like, She spent 2 YEARS convincing everyone she knew that I was abusing her. Her mother used to threaten me in crazy subtle ways. But I didn't realize it because I had no idea what was going on. Around the time the Dixie Chicks had that song where the ladies kill the abusive husband, the ex's mom spent like 2-3 months going on and on about "how much I love that great song!" Now there I sit confused as can be as her mom HATES country. I wasn't untill I burned the ex when she tried to scam the $$ I agreed to pay back to her folks that they told me about this.

    I stopped by their house to give them a Cashiers Check for 2 grand and they were all confused so I explained "in the divorce I agree to pay you back when my insurance check came" Then I drover over and gave the ex the $$ I agreed to give her to get out and when shee saw the amount she almost stared crying in front of me as I explained that I already dropped off her parents money.

    That was 6 years ago. Her mom still makes me my favorite cupcakes on holidays. And sometimes has the ex deliver them :lol: If I pick up the boy at thier house they make me come in, sit down for a chat and a snack. Needless to say it drives the ex crazy
  13. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

    HAHA! Awesome story!

    Just shows that if you do right by people, it sometimes pays off. :wink:
  14. So I understand that is ok for her to pierce the boys nipples and have tatoos put on him, and let him do drugs, since the child is hers too? (Just examples, I know it would be against the law for the tattoos and drugs at least)

    When you are divorced, in most instances it becomes a game, and you have to play the game well or loose.

    Right now I know of at least 3 nasty divorces where the parents constantly are in court fighting about what was done or not done to their child by the other spouse.

    In a perfect world, it would be your right to do what you want with the time you spend with your child, but in the real world be prepared to have your butt hauled into court while the ex spouse tries to use your actions against you to change visitation rights or get more money from you.
  15. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

    Yeah, pretty much, if he wants to let the kid do something that's NOT illegal, it's his right to do so. Be it getting a purple mowhawk, taking him sky diving, taking him to a different church, giving him different POV on political issues, talking to him about sex, drugs, alcohol, and smoking; or teaching the boy to shoot a .22.

    If momma don't like it, TDB!
  16. Carbin8r

    Carbin8r Member

    It's hardly a concealed weapon if you are required to tell anyone/everyone about it.

    I don't see how exercising a right can be used against you in any way. Doesn't mean someone can't try, but your defense is your CCW permit which grants you the right to carry a weapon unbeknownst to others.
  17. What's the law there? The law here in Texas says if a person owns property and dosen't want someone to carry on it they have to post a nice legal sign in 1 inch high letters saying they don't allow it. Also a little "No guns allowed" sign don't do it. So if there is a simular law there even if she knew you had a gun strapped on she couldn't do anything about it without taking those steps. Seems to me (some people ar just pains in the butt) she should feel that your are protecting you kid and not hurting him.

    My wife has a CHL too so I'm in a totally different place. If we got a divorce the fight would be who gets what guns and we'd have a big fight over the 995 :)

    We also take our 11 year old to the range with us half the time and he's fired alot of our handguns. I keep him away from the ones with big recoil (45, 40, 357) and the rifles right now but he understands gun safety is the most important thing.

    I don't think as long as you do everything legal she can hurt you, she can't stop you from seeing you kids and as long as you pay her support (if it's required) she has no legal recourse.
  18. hobo

    hobo Guest

    You obviously don't get it and don't seem to have any intention of trying to.

    Just because two people are no longer married, doesn't mean they don't have a moral responsibility to communicate with each other about the upbringing of their child(ren). Fortunately for me, after my divorce the ex and I were able to work togther when it came to our son. Even though he lived with me 1,500 miles away from her, we still talked about things that directly concerned him, or at least he would run things past her before just going out and doing them. It all depended on what the subject and the importance of that subject was.

    Before he got his green Mohawk at the age of 13, she knew about it. Before his ear was pierced at the age of 16, she knew about it. Hell, before he got his first tatoo at the age of 18, she knew about it. By his choice, as a man.

    Unfortunately, guns in our society are a touchy issue. Not everyone is enlightened and believes in the Second Ammendment. More importantly, if this woman is looking for a way to cause problems, this might very well be the way to do so.

    As he said, the kid knows his mom and he's on the QT with the gun info. There's probably a good reason for that. And if she ever finds out, then she has two beefs when she goes to the judge. #1, he didn't tell her he was carrying around the kid and #2, the kid knew so he was having him keep secrets from her. My understanding is that family court doesn't like that.

    His best bet, as expensive as it may be, is to contact a lawyer that specializes in family matters and see what they think. That way he can make an informed decision based on the law. Alternately, he should just tell her and see what happens. She might be cool with it. What he should not do under any circumstances is listen to the uninformed opinion of someone like you.

    Have a nice day.
  19. JMcDonald

    JMcDonald Member

    I say don't say jack, and commend your 12YO for not saying anything either.

    Telling her would be just one more card she could play in court to convince the jury that your kid "isn't safe with you" or whatever argument she might try to use against you.

    Sorry if I sound cold, but I have an older half-sister (same dad) and her mother is honestly a horrible person. Worse yet, she is a lawyer so my father has experienced first-hand how the little things like that can get you.

    That you have legitimate concerns about telling her because of potential repercussions tells me that you already know the answer. If she was a good, open-minded person that could settle some dispute (given that you think she'd be against it) maturely, then you wouldn't have asked this question.

    Then again, I was lucky to have a very understanding mother to have custody over me in my parents' divorce. She obviously doesn't always agree with the way my dad thinks, but she didn't try to attack him for it or shelter me from it. If she is like that, then tell her if you think she can handle it.

    One last concern, however, is that if she finds out from your kid before you, it might just piss her off enough to CAUSE her to want to make trouble.

    It really is just a judgement call. You know her better than we ever could, so have to decide. But, I suppose to answer your question there is no real obligation unless you are on her property.

    Good luck.
  20. I say your not doing anything illegal so its none of her business.