Hi-Point Firearms Forums banner

CCW permit and divorce question

1987 Views 28 Replies 10 Participants Last post by  Loopster
OK so I got my CCW permit last week. So here is the question, my kid (who will be 12 in a month) knows about it and the other guns, but won't say anything to the EX 'cause he figures she'll get worked up. So do/should I inform her about the CCW?

I honestly don't know if she'll be a pain or not. Anybody here been in the same boat or have any advice?
21 - 29 of 29 Posts
G
Yeah, pretty much, if he wants to let the kid do something that's NOT illegal, it's his right to do so. Be it getting a purple mowhawk, taking him sky diving, taking him to a different church, giving him different POV on political issues, talking to him about sex, drugs, alcohol, and smoking; or teaching the boy to shoot a .22.

If momma don't like it, TDB!
You obviously don't get it and don't seem to have any intention of trying to.

Just because two people are no longer married, doesn't mean they don't have a moral responsibility to communicate with each other about the upbringing of their child(ren). Fortunately for me, after my divorce the ex and I were able to work togther when it came to our son. Even though he lived with me 1,500 miles away from her, we still talked about things that directly concerned him, or at least he would run things past her before just going out and doing them. It all depended on what the subject and the importance of that subject was.

Before he got his green Mohawk at the age of 13, she knew about it. Before his ear was pierced at the age of 16, she knew about it. Hell, before he got his first tatoo at the age of 18, she knew about it. By his choice, as a man.

Unfortunately, guns in our society are a touchy issue. Not everyone is enlightened and believes in the Second Ammendment. More importantly, if this woman is looking for a way to cause problems, this might very well be the way to do so.

As he said, the kid knows his mom and he's on the QT with the gun info. There's probably a good reason for that. And if she ever finds out, then she has two beefs when she goes to the judge. #1, he didn't tell her he was carrying around the kid and #2, the kid knew so he was having him keep secrets from her. My understanding is that family court doesn't like that.

His best bet, as expensive as it may be, is to contact a lawyer that specializes in family matters and see what they think. That way he can make an informed decision based on the law. Alternately, he should just tell her and see what happens. She might be cool with it. What he should not do under any circumstances is listen to the uninformed opinion of someone like you.

Have a nice day.
You're right, I "just don't get get it". You're sooooooo much more enlightened than me.

I am not a lawyer, but neither are you, hotshot, so your opinion on this matter holds no more water than my own. Kindly spare me the sanctimony. :roll:

One has moral obligation to do what he feels is right by one's kids. If Momma's gonna be immature, or try and make your son's life more difficult, you're not obligated to allow that, simply cause, "well, it's her kid too", or because you're scared that she might try and make your life tough too. That's the very definition of cowardice!

If there's something that you feel your child should be learning, that he's not, you have a right--nay, an OBLIGATION--to teach that to your child. Teaching a child to safely handle a firearm is, in my opinion, as important as teaching a child fire safety, or how to properly cross the street.

Maybe the OP doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he just views it as something that might be fun for the kid. In that case, then yes, perhaps that would be better done with Momma's 'permission'. But if, like me, he feels that this is something that his son SHOULD be learning, then he has a moral obligation to see that his son does so.

As far as the concealed carry goes, protecting your child is, without question, a moral responsibility that requires absolutely ZERO permission from ANYBODY!

I won't even waste my time trying to explain that one to you though...
See less See more
G
You're right, I "just don't get get it". You're sooooooo much more enlightened than me.

I am not a lawyer, but neither are you, hotshot, so your opinion on this matter holds no more water than my own. Kindly spare me the sanctimony. :roll:

One has moral obligation to do what he feels is right by one's kids. If Momma's gonna be immature, or try and make your son's life more difficult, you're not obligated to allow that, simply cause, "well, it's her kid too", or because you're scared that she might try and make your life tough too. That's the very definition of cowardice!

If there's something that you feel your child should be learning, that he's not, you have a right--nay, an OBLIGATION--to teach that to your child. Teaching a child to safely handle a firearm is, in my opinion, as important as teaching a child fire safety, or how to properly cross the street.

Maybe the OP doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he just views it as something that might be fun for the kid. In that case, then yes, perhaps that would be better done with Momma's 'permission'. But if, like me, he feels that this is something that his son SHOULD be learning, then he has a moral obligation to see that his son does so.

As far as the concealed carry goes, protecting your child is, without question, a moral responsibility that requires absolutely ZERO permission from ANYBODY!

I won't even waste my time trying to explain that one to you though...
You truly are entirely devoid of a clue.

1. If she uses the concealed carry and lying about the concealed carry to take all rights away from the father, he can no longer protect the boy in any way. I've seen choice of legal profession cause a father to lose joint custody. Sometimes it's less important to be right than it is to do the right thing. This is one of those times.

2. You're right, I'm not a lawyer. That's why, unlike you, I was smart enough to suggest that he go see a lawyer.

I'm sorry if the facts don't support your opinion on this one. Fact number one is that only he can decide what the best, or at least safest course of action is. Fact number two is he'd be well advised to seek counsel of an attorney and not take the advice of anyone here… Especially you.

I won't even waste my time trying to explain that one to you though...
Yeah, pretty much, if he wants to let the kid do something that's NOT illegal, it's his right to do so. Be it getting a purple mowhawk, taking him sky diving, taking him to a different church, giving him different POV on political issues, talking to him about sex, drugs, alcohol, and smoking; or teaching the boy to shoot a .22.

If momma don't like it, TDB!
You obviously don't get it and don't seem to have any intention of trying to.

Just because two people are no longer married, doesn't mean they don't have a moral responsibility to communicate with each other about the upbringing of their child(ren). Fortunately for me, after my divorce the ex and I were able to work togther when it came to our son. Even though he lived with me 1,500 miles away from her, we still talked about things that directly concerned him, or at least he would run things past her before just going out and doing them. It all depended on what the subject and the importance of that subject was.

Before he got his green Mohawk at the age of 13, she knew about it. Before his ear was pierced at the age of 16, she knew about it. Hell, before he got his first tatoo at the age of 18, she knew about it. By his choice, as a man.

Unfortunately, guns in our society are a touchy issue. Not everyone is enlightened and believes in the Second Ammendment. More importantly, if this woman is looking for a way to cause problems, this might very well be the way to do so.

As he said, the kid knows his mom and he's on the QT with the gun info. There's probably a good reason for that. And if she ever finds out, then she has two beefs when she goes to the judge. #1, he didn't tell her he was carrying around the kid and #2, the kid knew so he was having him keep secrets from her. My understanding is that family court doesn't like that.

His best bet, as expensive as it may be, is to contact a lawyer that specializes in family matters and see what they think. That way he can make an informed decision based on the law. Alternately, he should just tell her and see what happens. She might be cool with it. What he should not do under any circumstances is listen to the uninformed opinion of someone like you.

Have a nice day.
You're right, I "just don't get get it". You're sooooooo much more enlightened than me.

I am not a lawyer, but neither are you, hotshot, so your opinion on this matter holds no more water than my own. Kindly spare me the sanctimony. :roll:

One has moral obligation to do what he feels is right by one's kids. If Momma's gonna be immature, or try and make your son's life more difficult, you're not obligated to allow that, simply cause, "well, it's her kid too", or because you're scared that she might try and make your life tough too. That's the very definition of cowardice!

If there's something that you feel your child should be learning, that he's not, you have a right--nay, an OBLIGATION--to teach that to your child. Teaching a child to safely handle a firearm is, in my opinion, as important as teaching a child fire safety, or how to properly cross the street.

Maybe the OP doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he just views it as something that might be fun for the kid. In that case, then yes, perhaps that would be better done with Momma's 'permission'. But if, like me, he feels that this is something that his son SHOULD be learning, then he has a moral obligation to see that his son does so.

As far as the concealed carry goes, protecting your child is, without question, a moral responsibility that requires absolutely ZERO permission from ANYBODY!

I won't even waste my time trying to explain that one to you though...
In a perfect world I may agree with you, but this is far from a perfect world.

Mom drags your butt in front of a judge with a good lawyer, and your speech wont carry much water, IMO. Sorry.
G
In a perfect world I may agree with you, but this is far from a perfect world.

Mom drags your butt in front of a judge with a good lawyer, and your speech wont carry much water, IMO. Sorry.
Bingo. It looks like waltham41 also has some real life experience and "gets it".
G
You're right, I "just don't get get it". You're sooooooo much more enlightened than me.

I am not a lawyer, but neither are you, hotshot, so your opinion on this matter holds no more water than my own. Kindly spare me the sanctimony. :roll:

One has moral obligation to do what he feels is right by one's kids. If Momma's gonna be immature, or try and make your son's life more difficult, you're not obligated to allow that, simply cause, "well, it's her kid too", or because you're scared that she might try and make your life tough too. That's the very definition of cowardice!

If there's something that you feel your child should be learning, that he's not, you have a right--nay, an OBLIGATION--to teach that to your child. Teaching a child to safely handle a firearm is, in my opinion, as important as teaching a child fire safety, or how to properly cross the street.

Maybe the OP doesn't feel the same way. Maybe he just views it as something that might be fun for the kid. In that case, then yes, perhaps that would be better done with Momma's 'permission'. But if, like me, he feels that this is something that his son SHOULD be learning, then he has a moral obligation to see that his son does so.

As far as the concealed carry goes, protecting your child is, without question, a moral responsibility that requires absolutely ZERO permission from ANYBODY!

I won't even waste my time trying to explain that one to you though...
You truly are entirely devoid of a clue.

1. If she uses the concealed carry and lying about the concealed carry to take all rights away from the father, he can no longer protect the boy in any way. I've seen choice of legal profession cause a father to lose joint custody. Sometimes it's less important to be right than it is to do the right thing. This is one of those times.

2. You're right, I'm not a lawyer. That's why, unlike you, I was smart enough to suggest that he go see a lawyer.

I'm sorry if the facts don't support your opinion on this one. Fact number one is that only he can decide what the best, or at least safest course of action is. Fact number two is he'd be well advised to seek counsel of an attorney and not take the advice of anyone here… Especially you.

I won't even waste my time trying to explain that one to you though...
I already conceded that I in no way measure up to your vast intellectualism... Thought that would appease you, but I guess not. :roll:

You say it's better to do the right thing, than to be right. I guess it all comes down to what you think "the right thing" is. All an attorney's going to tell you, is what the "safe thing" is. Nothing more.

And he's sure as hell not going to tell him to just 'tell her and see if she'll be cool'...

1. If it's truly concealed carry, the wife will never know. And neither will the boy. There's no reason for that to be an issue, EVER.

2. Yes, you are so smart, S-M-R-T! Legal counsel is always a good idea. But he came here asking for opinions, NOT legal counsel! If we all just told people, "Don't ask me, ask a professional.", every time somebody asked a question, we wouldn't have much of a forum... Of course, we could turn it into a nice little online-retailer feedback forum that you so desperately want...

3. You need to learn a little something about a what I like to call "objectivity" (look it up). The "facts" that you mentioned had nothing to do with whether or not my opinion is the correct one.

Sure he's the only one who can make the final decision. But that's why he's asking for advice... The guy wants some help, and OUTSIDE-opinions, before he makes his decision. This has ZERO bearing on whether my opinion is wrong or right.

Secondly, the fact that legal counsel would be a good idea has nothing to with whether or not he has a MORAL obligation to do something. Legality, and morality rarely parallel each other in civil matters.

I think you're more emotionally involved in this discussion than anything. Your first 'contribution' to this thread was to attack me.

...that wouldn't happen to have anything to do with you feeling foolish over a certain "feedback" thread, would it? :lol:
See less See more
Uraijit:
Yeah I do think it's very important that he learns gun safety, I'm mean I the last 2 years I've bought 7 and have a list of others that I want. And I live ina TINY place so thay are going to be close no matter what. I alos think he would enjoy shooting at the range with me and my shooting buddies. It's nice to see there are other people who feel like I do about parenting!

And please everyone don't think I'm knocking other posts! I really appreaciate the input. For now I'm leaning towards not telling her.
In MN you don't even have to tell a police officer unless he ASKS if you have a weapon. We have joint phys/legal custody with no support (other than I need to cover 1/2 his real bills but not bills for stuff she want for him) and even though she is required to carry health and dental on him sice my bennies at work are better than the ones shes had at the last 5 jobs I'm covering that.

I more than anything else just don't want to put the boy in the middle, you know? He does know I now carry only because Its on the right and he might see it in the car if my shirt slides up a bit or if he bumped into me in a store. And I didn't want him to say anything in public.

I still may broach the subjct of a safety class "because I have a little .22 plinker rifle" Then again I may just talk to the kid and see what he thinks. I don't want to put him in the position of having to lie to her.

If push comes to shove I don't thnk she'll try to go to court because he is hitting the age where I was when I decided I wasn't going to stay with my mom and her husband and moved in with my dad, and the ex knows this. I don't think she wants it to get to a point where a judge asks the kid what he wants. But she and the guy she was having the affair with have taken shots at me around the kid. And yep, he did tell me about it so we had the "hey they can say what they want it only bothers me I let it, so don't worry and don't get into it with them" talk.
See less See more
G
Cool, sounds like you've got your head on straight. More than anything, I'm glad that you're concerned about not getting him caught in the middle. My parents recently finalized a divorce, and my dad didn't fight my mom when she moved about as far away from him as she could get and still be in the country.

She took the kids with her (there's a 22 year spread between oldest and youngest, so there are still some kids at home) It absolutely sickens me that my mother doesn't have the maturity to put her children first, and uses them as pawns (she never really did when I was younger though either, so I guess it shouldn't surprise me). She does everything in her power to poison the children against him. She'd rather see her own children suffer, as long as she can make HIM look bad.

He's done everything in his power to see that he does right by the children (and her for that matter), even to the point of paying her $6,000/mo in support. Which is roughly 5 times more income than he MADE while I was growing up. His father passed away in the middle of the divorce, and he inherited some money...

Yet she tells the children that they have no money, "Because Daddy doesn't take care of us", or "Christmas probably isn't going to happen this year, because daddy didn't send us any money", or "Our car is dangerous, and we might die, because daddy won't give us any money to fix it". Meanwhile, she spends the majority of the money on herself.

It's really quite disgusting. But kids are smart, and sooner or later, they figure out the truth. Put your kid first, and things will work out in the end.
See less See more
Unfortunately, it seems that everyone I know has kids and are divorced, even my live in ex wife had had to go to court numerous times over a ex being a butt hole with a shared custody kid.

He manipulated the court system and even had them trying to collect child support from her and she didn't have a job and is disabled!

Its not easy for anyone involved, especially when you have one or both spouses that are bitter and do everything they can to hurt or attack the other ex.

I know of one guy that stabbed his wife with a screwdriver in a fit of rage, assaulted the LEO that responded to the call, is a dopehead, and has the balls to have his drug dealer pick the kid up for his visitation.

But since he has money for a lawyer and the wife doesnt, guess who comes out smelling like a rose every time they go to court?



I know a woman that is seperated from her husband, he told her that he would kill her if she filed for a divorce, and she constantly comes home and finds her clothes cut to pieces all over her house.

His family is big in the hick town they live in, guess who is the bad person in that situation? Yep, she is.

If she did something with the kids he did not agree with and survived, she would be dragged into court and punished, I have no doubt of that.

Both of my brothers and the only real friend I have are all in the same boat. Different stories, same results.



Life really stinks sometime, and I hate to say it, but sometimes I am glad that I never had any childres of my own, because I might be in the same boat as the other people that I know.

There is a perfect world where everything turns out like it should, and is fair, and then there is the real world where people get the shaft all of the time.

(rant off) :)
See less See more
I probably should stay out of this, but...

Unless your divorce order says you HAVE to disclose x, y, or z to each other, or forbids x, y, or z, then whether you have or do x, y, or, z is your business.

As far as what you CHOOSE to disclose, that's entirely your business too. I could see if being used against you whether you disclose it or not, but in a nasty custody battle, ANYTHING can end up being used against you.

Choosing not to broadcast a thing is not the same as deception. For example, I don't tell everyone I have a pile of dirty socks in the bathroom, but it doesn't mean that I'm being deceptive when I don't tell everyone I know about them.

As far as enrolling your child in a gun safety course, I expect that would look very good on your dossier as a parent, to your ex, and more importantly, to the court if it ever came to it.

I DO think that insofar as possible, the two of you should communicate about how you want to co-parent your child, BUT not at the expense of creating conflict that causes more problems for the child's well-being than it solves.

There aren't any easy answers and no one can really give you the "right" advice, because no one really knows what the "right" advice is. Talking to your lawyer about it (as someone said) is good advice, because your lawyer is as likely as anyone to be able to predict how the judge would view it.
See less See more
21 - 29 of 29 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top