Chuck Norris Jokes

Discussion in 'HPFF Comedy' started by Think1st, Jul 3, 2020.

  1. Think1st

    Think1st Supporting Member

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    I ask one thing. Please read the jokes before posting new ones. We don't want to have half of the thread be duplicates. Capture+_2020-03-16-06-35-40~2.png

    I'll start the thread out with this one.
     
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  2. Rerun

    Rerun Member

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    Aquaman, Superman, the Batman and Chuck Norris had a competition to see who was the best at picking up women - loser wears their underwear outside their pants.

    eldar
     
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  3. greg_r

    greg_r Lifetime Supporter

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    There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris. They had to re-name it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2020
  4. greg_r

    greg_r Lifetime Supporter

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    Ghosts sit around the campfire at night and tell Chuck Norris stories.
     
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  5. lklawson

    lklawson Staff Member

    They say that Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately, he has never cried.
     
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  6. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

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    Pretty sure there was a thread about this already. Probably archived...

    Chuck Norris doesn’t shave, he round house kicks his beard into submission.
     
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  7. Dubar

    Dubar Supporting Member

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
     
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  8. greg_r

    greg_r Lifetime Supporter

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  9. Think1st

    Think1st Supporting Member

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    Chuck Norris counted to infinity--twice.
     
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  10. SWAGA

    SWAGA No longer broke... Lifetime Supporter

  11. SDProf

    SDProf Supporting Member

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    When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's actually pushing the Earth away.
     
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  12. Dragonbreath

    Dragonbreath Member

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    1. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
    2. Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang”!
    3. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    4. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
    5. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors.
     
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  13. ^^That's GOOD.^^
     
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  14. histed

    histed Supporting Member

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  15. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

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    Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

    The theory of evolution is just a lame effort to account for all the species Chuck Norris has exterminated.

    Chuck Norris has no neck under his beard. Just another fist.
     
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