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Herb was a stock broker in New York City. Having grown up a city boy he always wondered what it would be like to venture into the great outdoors and experience nature. After reading about duck hunting in an outdoor magazine while waiting in line at the hair salon, Herb decided now was the time to find out.

Herb went out and bought the best gear that money could buy and then set out for the country to find some ducks. The only problem was the ducks were not as easy to come by as he had hoped. In fact, Herb hunted all day and had not set eyes on a single duck. Then, just when Herb was about to give up, a single duck appeared on the horizon. The duck seemed to have a little hitch in it's flight as if it had been shot before. Ever the opportunist, Herb beaded down on the lame duck and pulled the trigger. The duck fell to the ground just as he had envisioned. The only problem was it fell on the other side of the marsh where Herb didn't have permission to hunt.

Herb sat there contemplating whether to go get the duck for a few minutes. All he could hear were his co-workers mocking him for coming home empty handed. With that, Herb went to get his duck. Before he crossed the fence he stopped and scanned the area to make sure no one would see him. Then he casually stepped over the fence and approached the duck. Just as Herb bent over to pick up the duck a loud voice with a country twang said "Whatcha doing boy?"

Herb jumped back in surprise and turned around to see a rather large man wearing bib overalls and a straw hat. Herb swallowed and said "uh is this your property." The old country boy said "why yesssur it sure is and that theres my duck." Herb explained to the country boy that he had come all the way from New York City to duck hunt and how he had only seen this one duck and he just didn't want to go home empty handed.

The country boy curled his lips and said "well, we'll just just haveta settle this the country way. I'll kick you in the balls and then you kick me in the balls and whoever can stand it the longest gets to keep the duck." All Herb could think about was having to explain to his co-workers why he had come back empty handed and so he reluctantly agreed. The country boy said "well, I reckon I'll go first." Then he jerked his leg back, wiggled his toes, and swung it forward like Tiger Woods teeing off. There was a loud thud and Herb immediately hit the ground. Herb laid there curled up in the fetal position for 30 minutes before he could muster the energy to get back to his feet. Herb took a deep breath and said "I guess it's my turn now."

The country boy smiled and said "hell, you can have the duck..."
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