Classic: Categorize Yourself

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by NDS, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?


    Here is a little test that will help you decide


    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, A Crazy person with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you.


    You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.


    What do you do?


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Democrat's Answer


    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!


    Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?


    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?


    Could we run away?


    What does my wife think? What about the kids?


    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?


    What does the law say about this situation?


    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?


    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?


    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?


    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?


    If I were to grab his knees and hold on , could my family get away while he was stabbing me?


    Should I call 9-1-1 ?


    Why is this street so deserted?


    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.


    This is all so confusing!


    I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Republican's Answer:


    BANG!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Redneck's Answer:


    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....


    (sounds of reloading)


    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click


    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips


    or Hollow Points?"


    Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"


    Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist."
     
  2. LMAO i am definantly the Red neck cept the sound would have been followed by the wife opening fire as well!
     

  3. Republican. I'm too poor to waste that much ammo!
     
  4. I'll borrow the money for the ammo......... redneck!
     
  5. Thayldt21

    Thayldt21 Senior Member Member

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    republican, Ammo is a factor but I would like to not go to jail. Also guns are loud And I like my hearing. LOL
     
  6. elguapo

    elguapo Guest

    Old but oh....

    Libertarian: Everyone would unload on the wah wah as soon as we saw it charge...but only staggered shooting: Wouldnt do good for us all to go empty at the same time, would it? What about his friends?
     
  7. LMAO - that's a good one!
     
  8. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

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    Republican. Redneck is a word i find offensive.
     
  9. SHOOTER Z

    SHOOTER Z Well-Known Member

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    OH OH A Redneck Republican. Now you've gone and done boys.Strangerous is gonna git his scattergun and come a huntin fer ya :lol:
     
  10. my choice HILLBILLY

    the hillbilly uses up all the ammo for the .40 pulls his 12 gauge uses all the ammo for that pulls his .45 ( while wondering why he was carrying a .40 small and wimpy ) uses all the ammo for that .
    buys more ammo for all guns than hunts down the terrorist cells .
    :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :
     
  11. my dad sent me that a while back. Good stuff!
     
  12. bud

    bud Member

    Republican Redneck, and I'll share some of my ammo.
     
  13. browwiw

    browwiw Member

    I'm a Democrat.

    I'll shoot to kill, but I'll be nice enough to phone an ambulance. But, you'll die anyway because the Republicans have gutted the local emergency services and it takes the ambulance 45 minutes to get there.
     
  14. Wow, is that a vote for National Health Insurance lurking in there?

    Which wonderfully successful model should we emulate?

    Canada, UK, Soviet Union?



    UH, it's just a joke--not something to be taken seriously :p
     
  15. browwiw

    browwiw Member

    While I am a proponent of public health care for everyone, it's actually a dig against the right's gutting of basic public emergency services. If you don't want to pay all those icky-poo nasty taxes just gut ambulance services, fire departments and the police. Hell, better yet, privatize them all! Pure capitalism! Private police forces with no state or federal oversight! It works brilliantly in Iraq. Spend all that 'saved' money on bridges to nowhere.

    It's only the bad, in poor taste jokes I take seriously.
     
  16. neothespian

    neothespian Member

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    Hmm....Don't fit either of those. And for once, I don't have a snarky response. :(

    I aim to stop, putting myself between the assailiant and the children. What happens shall be, but those children WILL be safe.
     
  17. That's what an adult does, protects those unable to protect themselves. Good response. And--I hope that nobody actually fits any of those stereotypes. It was just supposed to be a throw-away, nothing to take seriously. :wink:


     
  18. browwiw: While I'll always support anybody that wants to criticize the status quo, blaming one party doesn't cut it. People have been voting to 'change' by going back and forth from Republican to Democrat and then back again now for over a century and a half. It's old and they are BOTH the problem. As for 'pure capitalism'-it's never been tried, neither has 'true socialism'-- but I don't think facts really matter to you here. Your anger can't be dealt with in one paragraph and it's doubtful anybody will read your book-the market is already saturated.

    I've got no real help to offer, except to remind you "Things go on like this for a while, then they get a little worse." Hope it helps...