Found The Blue Falcon

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Flyboy, Jan 18, 2016.

  1. So a few nights ago, I was driving home from work. I stopped by base to get some air for my tires (the compressor on base is the only compressor in the country (semi-seriously) that's free to use).
    Well, their compressor was broken; the thing had a leak in the hose that made sure the air never made it to the tire, no matter how much duct tape they tried to put on it. The problem was, one of my rear tires was reading around 6 PSI (I learned shortly after that the valve stem was bad). I went to the gas station, and the girl behind the counter basically said tough luck. So I bought a roll of tape and wrapped the hose as best I could, managing to get about ten more PSI in the tire before it ruptured again. Not good, but enough to make it home.

    I make it about three miles off base before I hear "whup whup whup whup" and I notice my car is dipping down and to the right. Very luckily, I just happened to be coming up on a Shell station, so I pulled off quick to replace the tire with my spare (in the UK, all spares are full-sized tires, not donuts).

    It needs to be mentioned that I am fresh off work, and am still in uniform. It also needs to be mentioned that the base has a policy that restricts wear of the uniform off-base; we're not allowed to, period.

    So I have pulled off, parked, and open the door. As soon as my boot hits the concrete, I hear, "Sir! Sir! Sir!" I look up, and it's some kid running towards me.
    Now, after being an NCO for five years, I should really have no place for faith in humanity in my heart, but my first thought was, "Damn good kid, he saw my tire, he's gonna help out."
    Mistake.
    He runs over and says, "Sir, in accordance with policy, I have to contact Security Forces and report you as being off-base in uniform without permission."
    Now, many responses came to my mind. Mostly involving, "How do you know I don't have permission?" and, "You best hold onto your stripes because I am doing to rip them off and turn you into a real goddamn blue falcon." But I restrained myself and simply gestured to my tire, which was completely flat ,and said "Tell them to bring a spare along."
    Now, I supervise my fair share of Airmen and brand new NCOs. Some of them are quick to the trigger, but after a decent demonstration of their dumbfu*kery, they are usually quick to stand down. Not this kid. Ooooh, no, he wanted a pat on the back from a full-bird. He instead tells me to wait there (no sh*t, you dink) for Security Forces to arrive.
    So I get out my cell phone and call Security Forces myself. I tell them I'm at the Shell, and they're about to get a call that I'm off-base in my uniform, but that I suffered a blow-out and need to change my tire. Luckily, the guy that answered the phone pulls ECF duty at my compound almost all the same nights I work, so he just tells me I'm good and to call him back if I need help.
    About a minute later, Blue Falcon comes back and goes, "Uh, yeah, they told me to ask you if you need help."
    Had him jack up my tire before I dismissed him. Maybe now he'll learn to assess a situation before jumping straight into the fire without thinking.
     
  2. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

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    But, but, but....the book says....:rolleyes:

    Way to go! He got to keep his normal sized poop chute, and "if" he has a brain, he'll have learned something.:)
     

  3. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    That boy would of been pushing the earth while I changed the tire. What a dumbass
     
  4. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

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    A little orbital adjustment...just what an airman needs.:p
     
  5. Outlaw

    Outlaw Supporting Member

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    I met my share of dumbasses in the AF also. I used to call it buck sergeant syndrome. Guy makes buck sergeant, you put him in charge of a bunch of a crew, he treats them like he's God and their $hit. All of a sudden he's a 2 striper again in charge of the latrine...still wondering WTF happened. I see stupid people. Woods is full of em. :rolleyes:
     

  6. I laughed my ass of when I read that lol
     
  7. I think buck sergeant would be a good idea to re-install. I mean, luckily, in the Air Force, even the fastest burner can't be an NCO until they're 21 or so at the very earliest. But it would still be good to have a buffer. I've been lucky; I only rate one guy, and even though he's only a Senior Airman, he's three years older than me, and the other NCO I work with is five years older.
    Luckily I'm the NCOIC of a crew of only three, so it's a pretty tame living lol.
     
  8. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

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    Your E5 is a staff sergeant, right? I always wondered why they tossed out the basic " Sergeant" and went straight to staff, in the army, that's an E6 rank.

    I made E5 in under three years, it can be faster in some MOS's, but not many.

    Funny thing, I went to check, and discovered...shockingly...that the interwebz is ignorant...I mean...who'd have thunk it?

    According to Military.com....
    "The Air Force is the only one of the five branches of the U.S. military where NCO status is achieved at the grade of E-5."

    Dang, wonder how all those E5 non-coms in the other branches feel about that?
    :rofl:
    Not to mention the E4 non coms in certain MOS's.;)
     
  9. Most don't get it lol.

    And good luck; takes three years in the Air Force to get E-4 (or 2.5 years if you graduate Basic Training with E-3). Takes at least another year after that to get E-5 (and by that, I mean before you can test for E-5), two years is the standard if you're really good; I made it on my first shot and put on E-5 after 4.5 years.
     
  10. histed

    histed Supporting Member

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    OK, Flyboy, I'll show my non-military stupidity. Got the E-4, E-5...thing. "Blue Falcon"??? Thought he was a superhero, like Green Lantern. Now I'm guessin' that the AF equivalent of MO or SP?
     
  11. rickm

    rickm Member

    Since there is so many military personnel in here past and present going to ask a question i have asked several times but has never got a answer, I have always wondered what the 1H classification was on my draft card meant, not that it really matters at this point in life but was always curious.
     
  12. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    It means you only have 1 hemorrhoid. I don't know. Ask one of the old farts that where drafted.
     
  13. rmuniz9336

    rmuniz9336 Member

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    Love how your buddy sent him over there to help! Made my day. Thanks.
     
  14. histed

    histed Supporting Member

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    1-H means you are prime candidate for the draft, IIRC. That was over 40 years back for me, so I may be mistaken.
     
  15. planosteve

    planosteve Lifetime Supporter

    It is registrant not currently subject to processing for induction.
     
  16. rickm

    rickm Member

    It was over 40 years ago for me to.
    Thought maybe cause i was the oldest son but dont really know.
    I just know i tried to join every branch their was but got turned down by everyone cause of bad hearing and bad ankles.
     
  17. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

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    It actually meant either you were up for the next draft, in which case if selected you'd be classed as 1A or 4F or whatever other thing you were; or that you had slipped through your year of draft safely, and would be undraftable unless they changed the needs of the military.

    So...lucky you!
     
  18. undeRGRound

    undeRGRound ROLL wif Da MOLE! Supporting Member

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    ...unless it's already reamed out like m00nzies :rofl:
    The most disturbing part is our Fry-Boy is an OFFICER??? :eek:


    :D
    JK Kyle ;)
    But I never knew that!
    (NCO, got it!) :D
     
  19. undeRGRound

    undeRGRound ROLL wif Da MOLE! Supporting Member

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    MARINE CORPS for you, Devil Dog!!! WOOF-WOOF! ;)
     
  20. ajole

    ajole Supporting Member

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    NON COMMISSIONED officer, get it right.:mad:

    That makes it OK, if he was commissioned, we'd have to make fun of him.;)