So a few nights ago, I was driving home from work. I stopped by base to get some air for my tires (the compressor on base is the only compressor in the country (semi-seriously) that's free to use). Well, their compressor was broken; the thing had a leak in the hose that made sure the air never made it to the tire, no matter how much duct tape they tried to put on it. The problem was, one of my rear tires was reading around 6 PSI (I learned shortly after that the valve stem was bad). I went to the gas station, and the girl behind the counter basically said tough luck. So I bought a roll of tape and wrapped the hose as best I could, managing to get about ten more PSI in the tire before it ruptured again. Not good, but enough to make it home. I make it about three miles off base before I hear "whup whup whup whup" and I notice my car is dipping down and to the right. Very luckily, I just happened to be coming up on a Shell station, so I pulled off quick to replace the tire with my spare (in the UK, all spares are full-sized tires, not donuts). It needs to be mentioned that I am fresh off work, and am still in uniform. It also needs to be mentioned that the base has a policy that restricts wear of the uniform off-base; we're not allowed to, period. So I have pulled off, parked, and open the door. As soon as my boot hits the concrete, I hear, "Sir! Sir! Sir!" I look up, and it's some kid running towards me. Now, after being an NCO for five years, I should really have no place for faith in humanity in my heart, but my first thought was, "Damn good kid, he saw my tire, he's gonna help out." Mistake. He runs over and says, "Sir, in accordance with policy, I have to contact Security Forces and report you as being off-base in uniform without permission." Now, many responses came to my mind. Mostly involving, "How do you know I don't have permission?" and, "You best hold onto your stripes because I am doing to rip them off and turn you into a real goddamn blue falcon." But I restrained myself and simply gestured to my tire, which was completely flat ,and said "Tell them to bring a spare along." Now, I supervise my fair share of Airmen and brand new NCOs. Some of them are quick to the trigger, but after a decent demonstration of their dumbfu*kery, they are usually quick to stand down. Not this kid. Ooooh, no, he wanted a pat on the back from a full-bird. He instead tells me to wait there (no sh*t, you dink) for Security Forces to arrive. So I get out my cell phone and call Security Forces myself. I tell them I'm at the Shell, and they're about to get a call that I'm off-base in my uniform, but that I suffered a blow-out and need to change my tire. Luckily, the guy that answered the phone pulls ECF duty at my compound almost all the same nights I work, so he just tells me I'm good and to call him back if I need help. About a minute later, Blue Falcon comes back and goes, "Uh, yeah, they told me to ask you if you need help." Had him jack up my tire before I dismissed him. Maybe now he'll learn to assess a situation before jumping straight into the fire without thinking.