The whole idea of taking a class is to be educated by someone who knows what they are talking about. A .22 is not really suitable for defense, you really want to go with something bigger (at least 9mm, I prefer .40S&W). If she "can't handle" the higher caliburs, maybe she needs some practice. She is going to want to practice and be proficient anyway if she is going to carry/defend herself. My girlfriend is built like a twig and she handles both of my .40S&W's just fine. The instructor is going to give you recommendations on weapon selection, calibur, etc, that's the whole point. You can't go into it with a closed mind on what you already know or think you know or else you won't learn anything.
Who cares if the instructor is an a-hole or is opinionated? All that matters is that you pass and you get the little piece of paper that says you completed the training so you can get your CHL. I found your comment about "ignorant political discussion" especially humorous. Who is ignorant? The people who care about their rights and talk about it, or the ones that don't care enough about it to even have a discussion?
Good luck finding a trainer that can put up with YOUR attitude.