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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Be Careful Out There:

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS .

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING :
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and they VOTE and they REPRODUCE
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
All of the above were emailed to me by my sister. I have one that I witnessed that I would like to add to the list. I work for a well known corporation that provides audit services. I was in the break room of a recent client one day at lunch. There was a group of women sitting around a table working on a crossword puzzle. The theme of the puzzle was "The 50 States". I should have been concerned when they tried to get Seattle to fit into the boxes as one of the answers to the clue. The next clue apparently was a bit more problematic. They decided Canada was the answer to a puzzle clue with "The 50 States" as the theme. I was utterly amazed when they spent the next 10 minutes in deep discussion deciding if Canada was a state or "something else." I was absolutely amazed.
 

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being i live in SD i go visit mt rushmore every so often. once when i was in the parking lot i heard a 30 something guy and girl talking excitedly on a cellphone about how they were at "Mount saint preisdent" and were looking forward to also seeing "wild indian mountain" (crazy horse rock sculpture).

SW
 

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When I was running my own business, the company I worked for had an exclusive contract with Lowes Home Improvement to do their flooring. My helper and I were rolling out a huge roll of carpet with the pad, tack strip and all that, getting ready to put it on the truck. This contractor that I knew pretty well, having done work for him in the past, walks up and just flat out gave me "that look". I was like, this guy can't actually say what I think he's gonna say... YEP, he sure did.

"You boys puttin' some carpet down today?"

To which I replied...

"Nope, we're hangin' it from the ceiling. Here's your sign."

Needless to say, everyone in the area that heard me laughed their arses off. One guy, I thought he was gonna choke.
 

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Where I work the 2nd in command (I dunno what her title really is...nobody really knows what anybody's title is there...) was in charge for the day because the boss was gone on a business trip. Early that morning we all smelled something burning and looked down the hall to the break room. There was a huge plume of black smoke coming from in there, so we turned off the breakers some of the guys extinguished the fire. She had put a plastic mug with aluminum lining in the microwave. After the incident one of the guys in the fab shop (a guy who barely graduated high school nonetheless) asked her "you do know that you can't put plastic in the microwave unless it's specifically marked, right?" and her answer was "I thought that it was metal."

We all kind of looked at her strange for a minute and then the same guy said "...you know you can't put metal in the microwave, right?" She said "You can't!?"

We all just walked away at this point... Just goes to show you that a college education really doesn't mean anything lol.

Managers FTL
 

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I work in airport security, I'm the guy that makes you take your shoes off. I have heard and seen it all. But one episode still sticks out clearly in my head. This was back when you couldn't take scissors on-board, regardless of size. The X-ray operator called me to look in a bag for her. As I was looking for the object in question the owner told me that it was probably her little scissors. I replied that she was correct, as I pulled them out of her bag. I gave her the spiel that she couldn't take them and what her options were if she wanted to try and keep them. She looked at me, pissed off, and said, "Every time I fly you guys take my scissors from me, you should be ashamed of yourselves." To which I laughed and told her, "If you stopped trying to bring them through here, we would stop taking them." She told my supervisor, who was watching and listening, that I was being rude and unprofessional. He gave her this look, I call it the 'Here's your sign' look, then smiled at her and told her to have a safe flight. Then he looked at me and busted out laughing, almost choked he was laughing so hard.
That is only a taste of what I had to put up with for the last 6 years.
 

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A couple of years ago, I worked as a Technical Director at a non-profit theater in Scottsdale, AZ and we were doing a production of South Pacific. We were lucky enough to come across a military surplus supplier who ALSO had access to a Military JP that was actually a shore patrol unit during the Pacific campaign! Of course, we all wanted to figure out how to use this thing in our production. We were all thinking about parking it outside the front of the theater and turning the entrance into a sort of fortified camp entrance, complete with a replica machine gun nest, sandbags, guard shack, and of course the JP.

But, we had this producer.....

He was actually a former member of the Board of Directors who took over as "Executive Director and Producer" (he added the "executive director" part himself after getting hired) when the last Producer got canned. He was a real estate broker by trade and did "some theater" in college. He heard about the Jeep, and insisted we use it ON STAGE! Now, normally I'd be all for it, but the stage was a wooden affair built in the 50's, and it just wouldn't support the weight. So, he insisted I reinforce it... in 2 weeks before opening the show. I told him no go, and besides, the exhaust from the Jeep would be bad news in a confined building with nearly 800 people.

His response?

"Well, it's got a battery right? Just run it off the ******* battery!!! My wife's Prius does that! Is it so ******* hard to do that here? I thought this was your job!"

:cantlook:
 

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Whoa dude, are you serious?! That guy was a total tard if he thought a WWII Jeep would run off a battery.
 

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(edit: "pigtails" forgot to log out... this is not neo... :angel:)

They DON'T run off batteries?!?! :wideeyed: :bs:

"Hello ma'am, here is your program.... aaaand your gas mask. Please enjoy the show!"
 

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ahhh, better. I used to work at McDonald's and other various food establishments the first few years of college.

'nuff said.

One particularly fun time, a customer came up the 2nd drive through window and wanted some extra sauces for her nuggets or whatever, and I had to inform her that they cost about ten cents each (because McDonald's is cheap and sucks copious amounts of d1ck...) am I allowed to say that in here...? :-X

:p Anyway, she got pissed and started yelling asking me if I was sh!**ing her and I asked her if she thought I was sh*#&g her (okay... more like yelled back, 'DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M SH---ing you??" (I mean cmon, I worked at McD's for five bucks an hour, who the heck cares about ten cents..)

She then called me a nice name and threw the hot fudge sundae she just bought back through the window. And I almost went the *other* way out the window in an attempt to kill the ... nice lady.. >:D I farking love mcD's customers... they and walmart customers are so cute. And make me appreciate the education system.

(Neo informs me that this post may be moderated to edit out the expletives :angel:)
 

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I actually have a firearm related one...
I am the main Sporting Goods person at the farm and ranch store I work for in Idaho. Last week a guy walks in and asks for 2 boxes of .38s and 2 boxes of .357. At the time, that was all I had in both calibers so I pulled them off the shelf and handed them to him and kept on doing my firearms audit. The guy opens up the boxes, looks at the ammo and then calls me back over...
<him> "Your ammo is screwed up here...."
<me> "Why do you say that? Is it damaged?"
<him> "No, the larger bullets here are in the smaller box"
<me> "Those are both 50 round boxes"
<him> (looking at me like I'm some moron)"These longer bullets are in the 35 caliber box and the shorter ones are in the 38 caliber box. 38 is bigger than 35, these should be this box and those in that box. I hope you havent been selling these to people this way because somebody could get killed and you would be responsible..."
<me> How many handguns do you own?
<him> (all smug looking) 2! Just bought em at the gun show, first handguns I have ever owned. Thats why I need the ammo!

I then had to take half an hour explaining through reloading manuals and other pictures that the .357 would in fact shoot BOTH rounds.

<him> So what you're telling me is that I wasted 400 bucks buying a gun that can only shoot 1 bullet while the other shoots 2? That bastard told me it shot .38's!!

Nothing I could do could clear up his confusion. He left without buying any ammo he was so flustered...

I have many stories about idiots wanting guns..... :devilsidesmile:
 

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I worked in a pizza place for 8 years.
Do you sell pizzas?
What comes on a cheese pizza?
What comes on a pepperoni pizza?
I just moved in my house do you know what my address is?
What do you call those round things with the red stuff, the red dots and the white stuff all over?
I want to order a combination pizza. What would you like on it? Pepperoni.
My last name is Ford. F-o-r-d.
Can I order a pizza?
Can I order a pizza without cheese or sauce. In other words you want to order bread?
I want a refund. Why? When your driver counted out my change I did not have my porch light on. Did he the right amount back? Yes. Then why do you want a refund. Because he could have.
 

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My fatherin-law ran a Shakey's pizza in Maryland and his favorite one was to ask customers that ordered a 1/2 & 1/2 pizza which side they wanted what on. Caught quite a few with that.
 

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being i live in SD i go visit mt rushmore every so often. once when i was in the parking lot i heard a 30 something guy and girl talking excitedly on a cellphone about how they were at "Mount saint preisdent" and were looking forward to also seeing "wild indian mountain" (crazy horse rock sculpture).

SW
wild indian mountian..... LOL
 

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Was talking with a coworker one time about a guerrilla group that was causing havoc in South America. Lady over heard us and wanted to know how the gorillas learned to shoot guns. No lie
 
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