Just not the same anymore...

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by mr_flintstone, Jun 29, 2020.

  1. mr_flintstone

    mr_flintstone Supporting Member

    About a month ago my Dad went to the hospital for gall bladder surgery. Turned out he had aggressive cancer, and three days later he was gone. He was always the first one I showed my new guns to, and I liked shooting with him very much. I hadn’t touched a gun since the day he passed until today. I took my Marlin 60 out in the back yard today for a few rounds at a Mountain Dew bottle. After a few shots, I emptied the tube, picked up my stuff, and came inside. It just wasn’t the same. I don’t know if it ever will be.
    CowboyBob, Radar1, Dagwood and 13 others like this.
  2. Dragonbreath

    Dragonbreath Member

    Sorry for your loss.
    I know the feeling. I had a uncle that made me feel that way. He was a huge gun guy that only had daughters. I was close by and became almost a surrogate son for him. Growing up it was almost like I had two dads. My dad is still here, but he doesn’t enjoy shooting the way my uncle did.
    When he died, I made it (barely)through the funeral without crying. The first time I tried to go shooting, I ended up crying my eyes out. As the pain of his loss faded, the enjoyment of shooting returned.
    It has been almost 4 years since He died. The last time time I bought a gun I caught myself thinking “wait till Dan see’s this” on my way home.

  3. SWAGA

    SWAGA No longer broke... Lifetime Supporter

  4. undeRGRound

    undeRGRound ROLL wif Da MOLE! Supporting Member

    It will surely get better, you will fondly remember the good times... But for now, just do what feels right. I am now in the last days (I fear) with my Dad and I am trying to make the most of it. I'm lucky in that respect.
  5. Sorry to hear about your Dad. It's been a while since my father passed, and the emptiness has eased over time. But every now and then something happens that triggers profound sadness. I guess it will always be that way to some extent.
    undeRGRound, Dagwood, histed and 3 others like this.
  6. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    Sorry to hear about your dad. Give it time.
    mr_flintstone likes this.

    TNTRAILERTRASH Supporting Member

    My 21st birthday my dad brought me and my brother matching Diamond Jubilee Otasco Hardware Model 60's one digit apart. It needs to go to my grandson when he is old enough.
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  8. greg_r

    greg_r Lifetime Supporter

    Condolences @mr_flintstone

    I know how you feel. It gets better with time, but the feeling of loss never completely goes away. Nor do I think you want it to. But it does change. You will remember the times together and the cold sad feelings turn to warm happy ones.
  9. lklawson

    lklawson Staff Member

    Deepest condolences. :(

    Peace favor your sword ( mobile)
    mr_flintstone likes this.
  10. Dubar

    Dubar Supporting Member

    So sad. I was 1000 miles away in MS when I got the call my dad passed in 1998, cried like a baby the whole drive home. He would have been 101 this year, he loved to fish.
  11. Quavodus

    Quavodus Member

    Sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost mine when I was little and can't remember him. My mother raised us kids pretty much by herself. I know it was tough on her but, she never let it show. We lost her in 2006. It does get easier though.
    Dagwood and mr_flintstone like this.

    TNTRAILERTRASH Supporting Member

    Right now I carry the fact that my dad can't be hugged by anyone in our family. 10 days ago was his 88th birthday. My sister, her husband, and my nephew sang happy birthday outside his room through the screened window. He can't walk anymore. Wearing diapers. Can't mumble out words, has to eat soft food. Eventually he won't be able to do that.

    A great man who always did the right thing for the family, and his step family.

    He doesn't understand why he is where he is.
    mr_flintstone likes this.
  13. I'm really sorry for your loss.
    We found out a couple of months ago that my step-father has an agressive form of alzheimers disease.
    I carried him shooting a couple of weeks ago, and my brother and I went and helped him clean his handguns a couple weeks ago.
    Going to try to take him shooting as much as I can.
    mr_flintstone likes this.
  14. mr_flintstone

    mr_flintstone Supporting Member

    Thanks for all of the thoughts. I know this is something that we all have to go through, but when the time comes, it hurts. To all of you who have gone through it, and for those that will at some point, you have my sympathies. I always thought there would be more time, but it didn’t turn out that way.

    For those of you who still have the opportunity, spend some quality time with your families; parents, spouses, kids, siblings, etc ... Don’t let petty squabbles, jealousy, or pride stand in your way. You never know when they will be taken from you.
  15. Rachgier

    Rachgier Administrator Staff Member

    I found my father, called his TOD, bagged him, carried him down the stairs, and loaded him in to the coroner's van.

    Rough day...
    Quavodus, histed and Rerun like this.
  16. Think1st

    Think1st Supporting Member

    My condolences to you, Mr. Flintstone. You are fortunate to have had such a long relationship like that with your dad. The unfortunate side of having enjoyed that is the sense of loss that comes with the inevitable passing.

    Others mourn the passing of their dads because of the fact that they regret not having spent enough quality time with them. They end up having few, if any, fond memories of their time with their fathers.

    I don't want to make this into a "you'll get over it" or a "you should count your blessings" post, but the bottom line is that it sounds like you had an enviable relationship with your father. You are a fortunate man in that respect, and I am happy for the chance you had to have that.

    May your range trips become your time to remember all of those happy times you spent with your dad. May they become a way of honoring his memory and feeling his spirit with you.
    mr_flintstone likes this.
  17. Dagwood

    Dagwood Supporting Member

    I agree with Think1st. I haven’t had the closest relationship with my Father. I don’t remember having spent much time doing anything with him growing up. My mom passed when I was eight and he remarried. Just never very close after that. He is eighty this year and I only see him a couple times a year. We talk politics, we do share that in common.
    God bless you and your family Mr. Flintstone. Cherish the memories.
    Think1st likes this.
  18. MaryB

    MaryB Supporting Member

    Sorry to hear Rach... I spent a LOT of time with my dad fishing so we were close.
  19. Rachgier

    Rachgier Administrator Staff Member

    I talked about it 6 years ago when it happened. We were on the phone the night before planning the labor day, back to school, end of summer family cookout.
  20. MaryB

    MaryB Supporting Member

    Fishing with my dad and old brother was embarrassing... when we passed another boat they would act like rejects from a funny farm...