[shaner]

Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?"
"A cat!" said Suzy.
"Good job. Now, what's this animal?"
"A dog!" said Ricky.
"Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.
The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad."
"I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny b*****d!"

 

[cicpup]

I know I mess around with you every now and then, but to be honest I really don't care if you decide to copy & paste your entire Joke of the Day subscription. However I do ask that you keep them to a single thread instead of starting a new thread for every single one. It might actually become a fairly active and fun thread instead of being the equivalent of joke spam. Thanks

 

[SDProf]

The math teacher asks Little Johnny: “If I give you 3 cats, and then another 3 cats, and then again another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?”
Little Johnny responds: “ten.”
Teacher: “Ok… that’s not correct, let’s do this again. But pay attention this time. If I gave you 3 cats, and another 3 cats and then another 3 cats, how many cats would you have?”
Little Johnny responds again: “Well… ten.”
The teacher, becoming slightly frustrated, tries a different way: “let’s try another example. If I gave you 3 oranges, then another 3 oranges, and then again another 3 oranges, how many oranges would you have? Little Johnny: “Well, 9.”
Teacher, happier, responds: “That’s correct. Now if I gave you 3 cats, and another 3 cats and another 3, how many cats would you have?” Johnny: “Ten!” Teacher: “Little Johnny, how did you even calculate 10?” Little Johnny: “Because I already have a cat at home!”

 

[Chef Duane]

Three Nuns die in a car crash and they go up to the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter tells them they must take a quick test before they can be let in to Heaven. He goes to the elderly Nun and asks "What was the name of the first man?" "Well, that was Adam!" she exclaims. "That's right!" says St. Peter. "Come right in!" He turns to the middle-aged Nun and asks "What was the name of the first woman?" "Of course that was Eve!" she replies. Again St. Peter says "That's right!" and she enters Heaven. Then he turns to the young Nun and asks "What were the first words Eve ever spoke to Adam?" The young Nun scratches he head and says "...Oh man, that's a hard one." "That's right!" he says "Come right in!!"