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Mall ninjas for dummies

5K views 33 replies 20 participants last post by  heyitslozeau 
#1 ·
#4 ·
A mall ninja is someone that has a weapon that has been super over tacticalified, probably doesn't actually spend much time shooting, will often talk about their "experiences" with weapons, tactics, etc, when really all they've ever done is played Rainbow Six.

There was a whole thread on mall ninjas a while back. If you do a google image search some good stuff comes up. The original mall ninja thread is halarious if you originally find it...seems like it was on Glocktalk or something.
 
#8 ·
Yup Silicon Wolverine is our leading authority on these here critters [makes me wonder just WHAT he does for a living now} :devilsidesmile:
actually i work for a video lottery/coin-op amusement operator, so im in bars, nightclubs etc on a regular basis. which means i have to put up with these people ALOT. the majority of mall ninjas also drink alot. but mostly chick drinks like fuzzy navels, and those godawful fruit flavored wine coolers. they go out and play thier little "tactical" games and tehn go drink the rest of the night and brag about how great they are at "operations".

SW
 
#10 ·
the original mall ninja, belonged to mall rapid responce force to deal with "threats". he was wanting to make his own armour so he could take multiple .308 hits. He said he took a different rout home every night from the mall, but there was only 4 exits out of the mall thus he could encounter sniper fire. then he started talking about how he took ninjitsu and could climb walls.

It was awesome stuff. i could not have made up a bigger bunch of bs if i tried.
 
G
#11 ·
I found the mummified remains of the original "Mall Ninja" threads from Glock Talk and the HK91 forums :)

DO NOT DRINK ANYTHING WHILE READING THIS - YOU WILL RUIN YOUR MONITOR, KEYBOARD, AND POSSIBLY YOUR COMPUTER!!!

Behold the "Shrine Of The Mall Ninja" :brow:

http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

Examples from above site:

One poster responded, 'If Plan A is to take multiple .338 shots to the back, you really need to come up with a Plan B."
"Am I being careful enough?" from GlockTalk

Gecko45 writes:

hello friends,

Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.

What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.

Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.

Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?

BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up.

Thanks!
 
#13 ·
The mall ninja not only takes tacticool to the extreme he also does it not quite right. Example

Greg echo is the original mall ninja.
Greg echo’s HDV is a 1981 model Chevy Chevette with the 1.8L Isuzu engine and the trailer is a Model BT100M Utility Trailer from smart trailers, Inc. The Chevette was heavily modified with a fording kit, Goodyear Ultra Grip - P155 / 80R13 tires, 14 gage cold rolled steel plats screwed to the doors, roof, hood and front fenders. Greg found a roof rack for a pickup at a thrift store and with a little duct tape made it fit the roof of the car, he then cover the out side of it with metal from an old filing cabinet to make a mobile pill box. He needed a way to get in to his pill box with out leaving the protection of his little tank so he cut a hole in the roof and installed a hinged hatch cover. He covered the window openings with expanded steel so even if the windows were shot out he would be safe and secure from MBZ attacks. When the cops saw this they made him remove the metal from the windshield and door windows. He tried to tell them he need it for protection from all of the nasties in the world but they were to dumb to understand. Greg had the same off-road shop that sold and installed his armor cut out every other bar of tread from the tires so they would work like the Baja tires. On the front of his little APC he wanted to use three ribbed tractor tires but he could not find any in 13 inch so he ended up using Goodyear Weather-Handler LS - P155 / 80SR13 and taking them back to the off-road shop to have two rows tread removed so they had three ribs of tread. After all tractor used three ribbed tires so they will grip the mud when turning and that is what he needed. The last thing he needed is for his front tires to slide making him hit a tree when he was running hard in the woods. With a rattle can Greg camouflage painted his little battle taxi three tone gray and black with white counter shading to keep it from making shadows. The last thing he added to his super ferret was heavy duty bumpers and front and rear brush guards, after you never know when you will have to attack in reverse.
 
#15 ·
Wow!!

And to think I never had any idea I was in so much danger going to the mall. I am so glad to know these guys are out there protecting my "six"!!

::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

:p

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
#19 ·
[glow=red,2,300]Thanks to everybody for the help. I am now thinking that the best thing to do is to have my wife make an "undervest" with pouches front and rear for the additional plates. This would let me have three plates in front (probably too hot and two in back. What I'm also asking her to do is to sew in a sleeve for an ASP collapsible baton. Right now I'm taping the ASP to my right calf (the left calf is where I have my G27).

It's okay for me to talk about my job, as long as I'm not specific. I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America's largest indoor retail shopping areas. Although there are typically between fifteen and twenty normal security officers working the beat there, we decided a while ago that it would be best to have a specilized force for violent individuals. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes.

Naturally, the regular security people are unarmed. We "RTFers", by arrangement with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons. If we have a full tactical alert and permission from the local LEOs we also have a Mossberg 500 with less-lethal rounds and two K-frame Smith .38s loaded with 158gr. LRN.

Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We're cops, we just don't get the glory.[/glow]

What a douche. :cantlook:
 
#20 ·
[glow=red,2,300]I do not understand the "joke" or the "Rambo." I am in a high-risk job. It is not the Mall of America, but Ill tell you what its no podunk mall either.

I am a responsible citizen who has made the choice to carry at all times. I defend others. If something happens at the Mall then I would be the hero, not those of you who are making fun of me for no reason. Yes Im not a Green Beret but guess what neither are you and unlike you I have to face unruly shoppers every day.

My REAL problem is that, like any LEO, I have enemies because of my job. They may have access to high-powered rifles. My job starts and ends at the same time every day. Although I use four rotating routes to drive to and from work, I am still vulnerable during the walk to and from my car. This is the time that I load up on the trauma plates because I DO NOT WANT TO BE SHOT DEAD!

Also, someone said that my Tac Team doesn't get training. Not true. We meet at the range every night and shoot 400 rounds each through weapons that closely resemble our duty setup. We also practice unarmed combat. I am a Master of three martial arts including ninjitsu, which means I can wear the special boots to climb walls. I don't think any of you are working as hard as I am to be prepared. I asked a serious question about tactical armor and I wanted a serious response. If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God.[/glow]

lol Im aware of the mall ninja term, but apparently the originator was a joke? Im feeling it was. But i dont feel like reading on. This was originally posted in 2000 too btw.
 
#23 ·
A mall ninja is someone that has a weapon that has been super over tacticalified, probably doesn't actually spend much time shooting, will often talk about their "experiences" with weapons, tactics, etc, when really all they've ever done is played Rainbow Six.

There was a whole thread on mall ninjas a while back. If you do a google image search some good stuff comes up. The original mall ninja thread is halarious if you originally find it...seems like it was on Glocktalk or something.
Interesting. What a funny name. That book looks serious. :) <o -m not a Mall Ninja.
 
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