MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by Spot, Jun 14, 2008.

  1. MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

    Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

    Please select from the following options menu:

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent , please ask someone to press 2 for
    you.


    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
    stay on the line so
    we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional , press 7 and your call will be
    forwarded to the Mother
    Ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
    voice will tell You
    which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, hang up. it doesn't matter
    which number you press,
    nothing will make you happy anyway.

    If you are dysl exic, press 9-6-9-6.

    If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
    or before the beep or
    after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss press 9. If you have
    short-term memory loss,
    press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators
    are
    too busy to talk with you.
     
  2. freedom

    freedom Member

    663
    0
    ROTFLMAO.

    That has got to hit the email circuit.
     

  3. I'm sending this one to my wife, she works at a hospital.
     
  4. 69burbon

    69burbon Well-Known Member

    1,409
    0
    OK that is too funny.
     
  5. Hey... wait a minute... some of them sound pretty reasonable!!!! Ha Ha Ha !!! :think: