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Apparently posted to craigslist in Savannah, GA:

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E..S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... After I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you... But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!
 

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LOL. I am from Savannah and I happen to be an avid craigslist viewer and yes this was an actual posting. Downtown Savannah is not a place u really want to be afterhours unless you know where you are. There are just some sections down there that is best left alone. I am glad this guy got what was coming to him (sorta). I personally would have shot him dead if he drew a knife on me. Hopefully he learns his lesson and dosent try to pull that kinda crap again.
 

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I'm an avid craigslist member and did see this posted in Savannah; however, when I read it, it wasn't this long. The parts about Obama and the pink cadillac were not there. Someone has added this in which leads me to believe that it's not true. I will say that when I did read it on craigslist, I couldn't stop laughing.
 

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The same one showed up on the SKS forums over two years ago though, a few things have changed(the OP did a little more damage this round) but the rest is the same. I think the original was from Georgia though.
 

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Saw this on the Greenville, SC craigslist a few months ago...might be a shred of truth in it somewhere...I mean I have heard of Kimber
 

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Saw this posted quite a while back and yes it has grown. Other posters are right about not messing around Savannah unless you know where you are and whats going on, it can be a brutal place.

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp
 
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