Need a good laugh?

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by .40cal_in_Idaho, May 8, 2008.

  1. This is from a link found through 1knights thread "is this guy breaking the law".

    http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

    I only got through the second or third post and was laughing my arse off at this R-Tard! :lol: :lol:
     
  2. If even less than one perecnt of this is true then that guy would be on the news every freaking night. From what little I looked at it was piling up so deep I needed stilts.
     

  3. :shock: uummm...alrighty then. He knows 'Ninjisu' so he is allowed to wear "Special" wall-climbing-boots" Just reading what this guy posted made me say.WTH?... I mean just... :roll:

    ETA: Just had to add these.

    Gecko45 writes:
    quote:Originally posted by William Gunn:
    This is what you posted over on Glock Talk as being your mall-rat security force load-out (…) I don’t see the SW3 mentioned anywhere. You claimed that the SW3 saved the Mayors daughter in the Mall of America. Right. (…) Rarely will a tactical officer engage a hostage taker/terrorist at military sniping ranges. But then being the super-whippo mall-rat security tactical rent-a-cop you probably already know this.
    No, you blithering idiot, that was a preliminary wants list, but now that our team has concluded that HK’s are brass-bending plastic liability sortagunz, we have completely abandoned that original list and our carbines will be supplied by Hi-Point, or handguns by Lorcin, our backup weapons by Jennings, and our SMG’s and 7.62 battle rifles(SW3’s) by Special Weapons. We only deal with the best, and we feel that the caliber(pun for those of you not to sheeplike to notice) of weapons we have chosen are at the very top of their class.
    M4’s, Barretts 50’s, Uzi carbines and Styer SSG’s and such are just fine for those who can afford them, but what are they really getting, huh? A namebrand, sure, a little extra reliablility, maybe, any extra performance, doubtful. I say, the best SMG’s in the wourld are produced by SW, and I will stand by that statment, as soon as i test fire one. When i do i am sure my analysis of the guns will be proved true.
    And it was the Mayor’s NEPHEW, you illitterat!

    SPECOPS writes:
    quote:Originally posted by Nordic:
    Hey Geekboy, SPECIAL-ED, et-all, does the shadow government agencies that fund your ops also provide you with anti-armor capabilities? I mean what if a posse of gang bangers starts driving through the mall all a blazin’ in their ‘74 Licoln Continental?
    No-Dic, are you still here?
    No we are not govt. funded, I work for a corporation, do I need to spell it out for you???
    Yes we do have armored vehicles Lucy. We have armored GMC Yukons and Suburbans for executive protection. We have several Hummers with MG mounts for our two HK21Es, and two VERY special armored vehicles for more serious work, here’s a hint, the US Marine Corp has a 2 less in their inventory now.
    We have been faced with several BGs with Anti-armor weapons. Usually it’s just surplus RPG7s but occationally something a bit more potent, like AT4s and one incident with a TowII.
    Funny that you mention the Chechin rebels. We don’t have to deal with them, but we get a lot of heat from the Russian mofia. Those guys are bada$$es, former Spetsnaz and KGB that are out of work and pissed off.

    Okay, this one’s from someone with a real sense of humor, so I had to include it.
    PRK writes:
    You guys laugh. Mall security saved my tender butt. Mom let me go to the men’s room aloen. The guy from electronics came in. He lured me into the stall. I hadn’t seen a Gameboy before. These two guys came right in with no warning. They dragged him off. Years laater I figured this out. I could of been a victim.


    :lol:
     
  4. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

    The guy was totally F***ing with them. You can pick up on it with his jokes about taking out shoplifter's knees with well placed sniper shots (but only after warning shots), and throwing down felony charges for "Grand Theft", for taking double samples of cheese logs... The special wall-climbing shoes comment was particularly brilliant.

    The guy was a total troll, and he pulled it off wonderfully. Most of the idiots were so obsessed with being better than him, that he was able to slap them around with his obviously fake persona, and they ate it up.

    Dance puppets, dance!

    Totally something I would have done when I was 17-19...
     
  5. SHOOTER Z

    SHOOTER Z Well-Known Member

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    Oh my achin head!! :roll: I am glad them fools don't work with me jeesh

    Makes the rest of us security folks look like idiots. :cry:
     
  6. All in all, it was hilarious. Whether he was f-ing with them or not, it was funny. I especially liked the part of him retelling the incident with Mortal Combat and his 'back flip over the concession counter.' That's funny.
     
  7. He had to be messing with them. No way in heck anyone could be that stupid by accident and still be alive.
     
  8. condition1

    condition1 Member

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    i read for a bit but had to stop. too deep. It is interesting how a troll can get people's goat like that. Truly amazing. Oh well, I'm off to protect national secrets...
     
  9. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

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    Yeah, but the mall ninja legacy continues, he's now a member of a different forum, and has his own questions and answers FORUM on it. He's famous now... internet famous.
     
  10. Is internet famous kinda like textbook stupid?

    +1 To condition1 on the national secrets... right there with you on that one.
     
  11. gunnut

    gunnut Member

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    Indy
    Is anyone else picturing Napolean Dynamite while reading that?