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The Heaviest Element Known to Science:

(Livermore, CA., Feb 27, 2009) Lawrence Livermore National
Laboratories has made a startling discovery in finding the heaviest
element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv)
has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however,
it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it
comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a
reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4
days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
critical morass deposits.

The location of Governmentium deposits is found in every state
capital, with a mother lode in Washington, D.C.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half
as many peons, but twice as many morons.
 

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I hear it's even more dense than lead.....
 
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