punishment

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by ex_isp, Jul 31, 2015.

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  1. I just couldn't think of bout one other group than you, that deserved this kind of punishment!!
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    * I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
    * When chemists die, they barium.
    * Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
    * A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
    now a seasoned veteran.
    * I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
    * How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
    * I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
    * This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
    * I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
    * I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
    * They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
    * This dyslexic man walks into a bra ..
    * PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
    * I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
    * A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils.
    * When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble..
    * What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
    * I wondered why the cricket ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
    * Broken pencils are pointless.
    * What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
    * England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
    * I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
    * I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
    * All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
    * I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
    * Velcro - what a rip off!
    * Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy
     
  2. Rerun

    Rerun Supporting Member

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    O pun the door and throw that rascal out!

    eldar
     

  3. planosteve

    planosteve Lifetime Supporter

    I just told everyone at the bar these jokes/puns. Seasoned veteran got the most laughs
     
  4. undeRGRound

    undeRGRound ROLL wif Da MOLE! Supporting Member

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    Call a Taxi, my friend!!!
    You're obviously in no shape to drive! :rofl:
     
  5. MaryB

    MaryB Supporting Member

    Oy someone stop the bad puns...
     
  6. Rachgier

    Rachgier Administrator Staff Member

    ..........
     

    Attached Files:

  7. planosteve

    planosteve Lifetime Supporter

    Is lizard viagra a green pill?
     
  8. undeRGRound

    undeRGRound ROLL wif Da MOLE! Supporting Member

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    [​IMG]

    :rofl:
     
  9. SWAGA

    SWAGA No longer broke... Lifetime Supporter

  10. bscar

    bscar Supporting Member

  11. mr_flintstone

    mr_flintstone Supporting Member

    If we're telling bad jokes now....

    Did you hear about the atheist insomniac dyslexic?
    He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a Dog.


    Two ducks walk into a bar. The third one ducked!

    A dog limps into a bar and yells "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw!"
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2015
  12. Is your lizard feeling poorly?..... maybe he suffers from iguanaria! !!
     
  13. cicpup

    cicpup Resident PITA Supporting Member

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    Puns are the worst. Right between knock knock jokes and network sitcoms.
     
  14. SWAGA

    SWAGA No longer broke... Lifetime Supporter

  15. Rerun

    Rerun Supporting Member

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    Puns are the only true jokes as they generally do not knock fun at others expense.

    eldar
     
  16. cicpup

    cicpup Resident PITA Supporting Member

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    Well that would be your oversensitive PC opinion. It's completely wrong, but you're entitled to it none the less.
     
  17. Rerun

    Rerun Supporting Member

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    Please elucidate me as to Your opinion.

    eldar
     
  18. cicpup

    cicpup Resident PITA Supporting Member

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    Comedy is completely subjective. It is different for everybody. Person "A" prefers safe polite boring antidotes. Person "B" would rather hear a dirty joke. Person "C" enjoys racial humor most. And it goes on forever. Whenever the media picks up on a comic saying something controversial, they're quick to throw the comment "Well that's not funny". Well that's not true. The only honest way to say that is "Well that's not funny to me". Because guaranteed a bunch of people laughed their asses off at it. To say anything is "the only true jokes" is complete BS. Puns are safe humor, I'll give you that. But far from the only true humor.

    Now that isn't my opinion. It's fact. As for my opinion? Puns are absolutely the bottom of the barrel $#!t equal to current sitcoms with their mediocre jokes and over the top laugh tracks to tell you "That was the joke. You must laugh now". Both of which require minimal effort and creativity from the joke writer.

    If you want to argue the truest form of comedy, then in my opinion you need to go with "slapstick". It appeals to most everybody, has been around forever and never gets old. But unfortunately, like most every form of comedy, there's a victim.
     
  19. Think1st

    Think1st Supporting Member

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    "Top Secret" is the best all-around slapstick comedy out there. The modern attempts at the genre are pretty weak. The late '70s and early '80s were the heyday for it.
     
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