'Rules of the South'

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by Spot, Dec 10, 2007.

  1. The 'Rules of the South' are as follows:

    1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

    2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

    3. I drive a pickup truck because I want to. Let's get this straight;
    it's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're
    going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

    4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like
    money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west,
    I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

    5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000
    cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

    6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly.
    Try to understand the concept.

    7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in,
    We WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have
    it up to your ear at the time.

    8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar?
    It's available at the corner bait shop.

    9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.
    It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
    November.

    10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women,
    regardless of age.

    11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order a steak
    or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of h am &
    turkey.

    12. When we fill up a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
    vegetables,
    and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh,
    yeah....
    We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT
    AIN'T
    REAL CHILI!!

    13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served
    over
    ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how
    to
    shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

    14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers
    and
    the Knicks and a dang site more fun to watch.

    15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
    spooks
    the fish.

    16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Unive rsities,
    Universities, and Vo-techs. We come outta there with an education plus a
    love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they
    come for
    the holidays.

    17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines so
    don't
    mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

    18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't
    music,
    anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your
    boxers!
    Refer back to #1!


    BTW , This was sent to me by a black man from new york
     
  2. Good One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     

  3. SHOOTER Z

    SHOOTER Z Well-Known Member

    4,094
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  4. elguapo

    elguapo Guest

    Thats nice!
    As a driver for my profession, I see the whole gamut of people on the road, and the diverse locales around AZ and NM. As far as the waving part, yep: happens only in the smaller laid back places.
     
  5. Huggy

    Huggy Member

    286
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    SEPA
    Should be mandatory for the whole country, not just the south... but ya gotta start somewhere.
     
  6. It's funny because it's (not) true.
     
  7. We must be Southern round these parts cause the local jewelry store is ginin away deer rifles with each diamond purchase.

    Does flippin the bird constitute waving? If so we havenuther Southern thing goin on here.

    Don't know their names fer sure but got lotsa gals w long hair in pickem up trucks round these parts.

    YeeeHa!
     
  8. Out in the rural area where I live, everyone raises a finger off of the steering wheel, or waves. Get into town though, and they look at you like you are nuts LOL
     
  9. Funny how 50 miles can make a difference. People in St Louis really don't have much of a drawl but if you head south on I55, it gets thick real quick. When I moved down here, where my wife is from, I found that "Hi" isn't used, it's "Hey". I thought it was funny, but after 5 years, guess whose saying "Hey"? Yep, it is me...Hey!
     
  10. The first Southern word that a yankee will use is ( BIG OLE ) example : Dam , that is a big ole boy .
    Spot
     
  11. Other than the parts that apply directly to the South most of it could apply to rural anywhere in the US.







    I say Howdy even though I'm a Northerner through and through. Picked it up from my Southern pals in the Marines.