Sense of Humor

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by Newskate9, Dec 8, 2007.

  1. This is total in Jest - so don't bash me!!!!

    .... And then the Lord said, "I need to get some stuff done around here, I'll invent man." And he did. Man wasn't working hard enough and this troubled God. He complained to Man, but Man didn't listen. God said, "I've had enough. I'll create woman to drive man nuts." And he did. Woman drove man nuts and man did more. Woman got greedy and started doing stuff God didn't like. Along came the apple, one thing leads to another. God says, "Woman now has it too easy, so I need to punish woman." And he did. Out of the Garden they flew.

    Now every year, even though no more garden, Man and Woman celebrated Jesus' birthday out of love and respect and fear there may be even more tricks up God's sleeve. Woman started to make a big deal out of the birthday and every year there was more and more details into the big celebration.

    Man started to complain. God on the other loved the pomp and circumstance; so did Woman. Then Man complained more and got a little testy about it. God said, "I've had enough of your mouth and attitude Man. Time for you to realize just how good you have it. I think I'll add a burden to Man." And he did.

    Christmas Lights. Thousands of Christmas lights. The little ones. That burn out. And you can't find the one that's bad so you gotta buy new strands. Extension cords. Boxes of them. Stakes, wires, strings, more boxes.

    Man vowed never to complain again. Woman has been in hiding ever since.
  2. Read the list in the reference from my sig line. Notice women don't make the top 3 list?

    j/k (maybe) :wink: :wink: :wink:

    But- number 3 on the list can acquire you an acceptable substitute for true love.

  3. An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is
    pulled over by a cop.

    Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You
    have a broken reflector on your buggy.

    Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.

    That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops
    across the horse's back and around one of his nads. I consider that animal
    abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right

    Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with
    the cop. Well, dear, what exactly did he say?

    He said the reflector is broken.

    I can fix that in two minutes. What else?

    I'm not sure, Jacob ... something about the emergency brake...