I would, however, part with a great deal of my hard earned horde to see the expression on Stoner's face when the Christmas tree begins to move. Pretty sure the ensuing hilarity would cause one to urinate in one's pantaloons
"Jingle bells Santa smells Rudolph's got VeeDeee......"
Ho Ho Ho! Got the tree today! My wife likes to get a tree early, usually the day after Thanksgiving, but this was the earliest we had time. We get a Moomey Tree! What is a Moomey Tree you ask? Well.... We had a tree up some years ago and a neighbor friend was admiring it and asked "What kid of tree is that?" I replied "Its a Moomey!" "A Moomey? Huh. Nice looking tree!" he replied. A few days later he came back and asked if I was playing some kind of joke on him... seems he went to Home Depot and asked for a Moomey Tree and when they said they never heard of that he insisted that a friend (me) had a Moomey! They thought he was nuts! I finally explained to him that here in Plano there is a guy that owns a tree farm in Michigan and every year he carts a bunch of trees down and sells them to us suckers.. err..,customers. They are really full and beautiful trees. His name? Fred Moomey. So every year we get a Moomey Tree!! Best looking damn tree in Plano! He got a good laugh after that and we had a few beers.
Heh Heh. Just a little humor to kick off the season!