stun gun

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by Spot, Mar 3, 2008.

  1. Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL!

    Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. Loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time;
    I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.?? AWESOME!!!? Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave!

    Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries,
    Right?! !?? There I sat in my recliner, my cat, Gracie, looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and
    Thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong???

    So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in
    One hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would reportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two
    Itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

    What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...

    I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it, dumbass," reasoning that a one-
    Second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button and...

    HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

    I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over
    And over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs!

    The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it
    Again, stupid, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-*%#... That hurt like **%! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

    P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
     
  2. ToddGray

    ToddGray Guest

    Holy cow, I just peed my pants... as you probably did too.
     

  3. neothespian

    neothespian Member

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    Now, this is probably a given (considering that you probably have already told yourself this), but I MUST say this...and I mean this with all respect:

    Dumbarse.

    Now, with that out of the way, any kind of electrical discharge device CAN be life threatening. I myself have a Tazer C2 (The civilian verison of the gas-charged range stun weapons) that I bought when I originally was moving to Phoenix before I got my current job. It's use is for a "less than lethal" situation, and while not a replacement to a firearm, it does fit it's design very well. While light years beyond the typical handheld "stun guns" it's principles are very much the same. (The C2 has been proven as the best device on the market in regards to user safety and effectiveness if you are deciding to go this route)

    But these things are NOT to be taken lightly. They CAN cause death, and I just cringe every time I see a drunk frat boy nailing his buddy or himself with these things on YouTube. While not highly regarded by many, these things ARE weapons, and should be treated as such.
     
  4. I love reading that.
     
  5. Ive been shocked by one of those a few times. It didn't really hurt that bad to me. First he did me on the arm. I kinda just stood there like, what the heck, this sucks
    Then I raised up my shirt and let him do it on my side. Still, not really too bad. Later I let him do it on my bum. That stung a bit though. Got me on a tender are, and made me jump. Then I sliped in a puddle of water next to the cats water bowl. But the butt taze did sting a bit. But not as bad as people make it out to be. But then again. Sometimes I think I might be a little masochistic.
     
  6. neothespian

    neothespian Member

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    It also depends on what kind of device you have. Many cheap stun guns might SAY 300k volts, for example, but when you actually measure the voltage they're often plus or minus by as much as 200k volts! Also, it's not the voltage that does the majority of the damage, but the amperage. Also, the cycle rates are critical on such devices as well. Stun guns use a pulse ratio to deliver the shock, and alot of times the relay for this function burns out quick in the cheap units too reducing their effectiveness.

    In short: The cheap stun guns are worth about as much as the plastic they're moulded from. I wouldn't trust them with my life on any level after seeing the Tazer C2 in action. Definitely worth the money, and the same relay hardware is installed on the Police grade units. The only difference aside from the ergonomics and the power level, the same parts are used in the C2 and police grade weapons.

    I just want to know what the HELL drives people to nail themselves with these things!
     
  7. AndrewST

    AndrewST Guest

    hahahahahaha...always a funny one to read.
     
  8. Dreamthief

    Dreamthief Senior Member Member

    holy crap spot, you need to send that into a magazine. that was VERY well written and flowed awesomely. It had my wife and I rolling on the couch and trying to finish reading it through the tears and laughter!
     
  9. reaHP

    reaHP Guest

    HILL-AIR-E-OUS. That must have really hurt!! I've read other artilces of people doing this and the results are always the same.
     
  10. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

    The amperage is pretty much the same across the board. The voltage is what makes it hurt! 3 amps or so is about what they run, and that coupled with 100,000 volts will make you think a lot more than "gee this kinda sucks". 3 amps at 100,000 volts... that's 300,000 watts! That's like experiencing the power to run three thousand 100 watt light bulbs. WOW!

    Anyway, I'm kinda conflicted on how I feel about the fact that LVMPD doesn't taze in their academy. It's some kinda twisted thing that makes me sorta want to do it, but at the same time know it would totally suck. I'd much rather get tazed than take a shot of OC spray to the eyes (which I WILL have to do if I get into the academy), but even then, I still have that sick half-desire to do it to, just for the experience of it.

    ...I suspect this is the same twisted mentality that drives people to actually try them on themselves. ;)
     
  11. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

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  12. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

    Wow, their "clues" are totally stupid! Sounds like the sort of detective work one would expect from Hank the Cow Dog...
     
  13. Dreamthief

    Dreamthief Senior Member Member

    ok can't give you this one anymore... :p lol

    still don't take this back though...it was still funny as hell!
     
  14. From what spot decribed. It sounds pretty much like the one he has. 100,000 volts. Probably wasn't te exact some one, but simular to his. I dunno. I disapointed in the results.
     
  15. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

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    What's the chance of...
    Spot's LGS being the same LGS of the URBAN LEGEND?
    Spot's cat's name being the same name of the URBAN LEGEND?
    Spot's test dummy (microwave) being the same as the URBAN LEGEND?
    Spot's bottom lip weighed 88 lbs, the same as the URBAN LEGEND!

    But a funny read indeed... i just need 'ol Spot to come tell us all it is a funny joke he found, and not a life experience!
     
  16. FLA2760

    FLA2760 Guest

    LOL man you are an original! :shock: Thing works though that's good.
     
  17. squeak_D

    squeak_D Guest

    HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Man I nearly wet myself reading this :lol: Holy Mary mother of crap!!!! You have got to submit that story to some magazine. That story is just way too funny to be confined to this forum.
     
  18. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

    From what "Spot described" [he isn't the original author], it knocked him on his ass. The one you were playing with you said was "uncomfortable". Based on those two very different descriptions, I'd say they were two very different tazers.

    Try taking a hit from a police-grade tazer, and tell me you're just gonna stand there and go "gee this kinda sucks". Then you can take a shot of OC spray to the face and think, "Gee that makes my eyes water". :roll:

    Or maybe you're just a real badass...

    Again, just cause it says "100,000 Volts" on it, doesn't mean it's the real deal. Do you really believe the box on those cheap Pyramid amps when they say "2000 Watts"? I guess my $80 pyramid is 'pretty much the same' as a $1500 2000 watt amp, cause they both say "2000 watts"... :roll: