The Gunslinger.......

Discussion in 'HPFF Comedy' started by Hermitt, Aug 4, 2015.

  1. Hermitt

    Hermitt Hey! Get Off My Lawn! Member

    AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
    AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"

    THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."

    A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.

    THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE
    BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.

    THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.
    THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR,
    AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.

    THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.

    THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"

    THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT
    I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.

    THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:
    1 - Never be arrogant.
    2 - Don't waste ammunition.
    3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
    4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.
    5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.
     
  2. histed

    histed Supporting Member

    4,319
    3,824
    So many comments come to mind - and everyone of them would p^zz off someone I like or get me banned. Just say that sever members came to mind as I read this. ;):rofl:
     

  3. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    I can name a few;-)
    I'm so one the list
     
  4. moona11

    moona11 King of you Monkeys Lifetime Supporter

    And Mary






    Running for cover..
     
  5. Kiln

    Kiln Member

    3,092
    4
    It was a decent joke but WHY DID YOU YELL THE ENTIRE THING?!? ;)
     
  6. Think1st

    Think1st Supporting Member

    8,722
    2,193
    Florida
    'Cause he forgot to take out his earplugs before typing.