The Healing Touch

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by browwiw, Jun 12, 2008.

  1. browwiw

    browwiw Member

    The Healing Touch

    An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

    The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "my treat."

    The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once again nodded that it was, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "on my bill."

    As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back to his legs, got up and danced a jig right out the door.

    Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

    Then Jesus walked up to the Redneck.

    The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm drawin' disability!"

    -----
    What? Even I have a sense of humor!
     
  2. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

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    OMG, that's not what redneck means, but it's still funny!
     

  3. Thayldt21

    Thayldt21 Senior Member Member

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  4. JMcDonald

    JMcDonald Member

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    Lol yeah, technically its probably closer to the polar opposite, but I agree its still funny.


    It would have just been too politically incorrect to say something like a Black guy or whatever, heh.
     
  5. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

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    You're right JMcDonald... we can make fun of our culture all we like, but don't let anyone else do it... ;)
     
  6. browwiw

    browwiw Member

     
  7. Yeah, have to agree with browwiw, at least around this area that's pretty damn redneck :p
     
  8. SHOOTER Z

    SHOOTER Z Well-Known Member

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    Oh but wait the PC police will be screaming over this one next as it relates too religion. I'm gonna run and hide under my bed now before the fallout hits the fan.
     
  9. As a bible-toting Orthodox Roman Catholic Jewish Imam, of half Irish, half German, quarter African-American, 0.1% Native American decent, pickup driving on Sunday, Toyota driving on Saturday, rifle in the back, handgun on the ankle red headed hockey player from Toronto, blind in one eye, 1-leg, lisp-speaking, bi-sexual transvestite with 6 fingers, 4 toes, and 3 arms of different lengths........... who doesn't drink or eat, I'm highly offended by that joke.

    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: