The Navy Cheif's Pension

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by waltham41, Apr 5, 2008.

  1. The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked but with $96,000.

    The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

    The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'

    The old Chief calmly replied, 'Vietnam.'
  2. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

    I don't know if i should laugh or cry. Thanks.

  3. AndrewST

    AndrewST Guest

    Hahaha! That is funny....except technically his testicles aren't part of his body anymore.
  4. How many million did that one cost the Navy I wonder?

    LMAO! Great joke Waltham.
  5. That was priceless! It made me wonder a little because I got out under a similiar program in 1992. I didn't have to measure anything though!!
  6. I'd've named my half of the umbilicle cord lol.
  7. The old Chief I'm sure would have been smart enough to not let a lawyer do the measuring ;)