"'Twas the Week Before Christmas - Part Deux"
by histed

Dog Bulldog Dog breed Carnivore Companion dog

[Did it again, didn't cha, boy?"]

Once again the Christmas Season has arrived. Once again you're totally unprepared. I told ya last year - DON'T DO THIS!!! But do ya listen to the Dawg? Huh? DO YA!!!??? Of course not. If'n ya was smart ya wouldn't be on this forum. H E double hockey sticks, ya wooden be on ANY forum. But, since ya won't listen AND I wanna keep ya outa the Dawg house (I'm there already, ain't no room fer you), here's a couple ideas that might jest save yer….whateveryahaves. Links to prices and fast shipping included.

Tactical Spork -
Light Material property Tool Hand tool Auto part
Frankly, I can't think of a single reason I'd actually like this as a gift. Howsomever, we all know just how cool it is to be "tacticool." Just imagine the enthusiastic response when your tacticool friends open this little gem. You'll be the sole discussion around the cooler and in huntin' camps for years to come.

Paracord Knife bracelet-
White Product Black Gesture Automotive tire

Along the same tacticool line, but perhaps a bit more useful, is the WEREWOLVES paracord knife bracelet. No self respecting mall ninja would ever be without one, especially if real Werewolves are expected. Self defense knife, rappelling rope and so few other features. Comes in ninja black, black and blue - for the bruiser look -multiflage - to TOTALLY conceal the fact that you're "packin'" - and desert tan - in case you find yourself suddenly in ...OOPS, that's Top Secret.

Paracord Survival Pod-
Grey Headgear Art Woolen Wool
No, it isn't a tactical hornet's nest. It is , however, the amazing Bison Designs Paracord X-Stream Survival Pod. Designed for the fisherman, lost hiker, or the well supplied mall ninja, this indispensable tool contains a total of 16 survival tools, including carabineer sharp eye knife, flint fire starter, tinder, tape, needle, lure, bait, hooks, split shot, fishing line, glue, snare wire, AND hacksaw. Talk about the ultimate in tacticool!! Oh, but wait, there's more

Backup Thread Protector-
Drinkware Blue Light Textile Cup

What cha got here is yer basic all 'Merican thread protector. Joking aside, this actually is kinda cool. There are dozens of sizes, shapes, colors, and styles to choose from. With the continuing rise of suppressor popularity, this could make a great gift - especially for that special friend who is STILL waiting for BARF (aka BATF) to return his stamp.

Gun Patent Wall Art Prints-
Font Pattern Parallel Paper Drawing
Nothing says "Man Cave" like blueprints of some of the most famous firearms ever made. This selection of four prints contains patent drawing by Sam Colt and his arch rivals - Smith and Wesson. Other choices contain drawing by John Moses Browning and ...it's JMB! Why would you want or need anything else! And no, they don't have that Austrian guy. It's UnAmerican.

So, that's the short list for this year. Oh, you're gonna gripe cuz I didn't tell what to git yer wife? Seriously? You ain't been married long, have ya? If'n you waited this long to git her sumpthin nice, then have the brazen testiculars to actually come here for suggestions…. You're a special kinda stoopid. Betcha you come knocking on the dawg house door. Best bring treats and yer own beer and blanket - I ain't a sharin' witcha!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Ladies (all 4 or ya) and gents. May the New Year be full or Pro gun legislation, cheap ammunition, and plenty of time to shoot.

Dog Dog breed Textile Carnivore Fawn