The Mosin Nagant for the following reasons:
Stuff you know if you have a Mosin Nagant
It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
You can hit the farm from two counties over.
What's a mag?
What's a safety?
Your rifle has dog collars.
Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
You can knock down everyone else's target just from the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
Recoil often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.
Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.
Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.
Your rifle won a pole vault event.
You paid $79.95.
You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.
Service Life, 100 years.
You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.
If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.
You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.
After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor. THEN you watch "Enemy at the Gates."
Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails.
Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.