Glock: a name that has grown synonymous to firearms. As Honda is to cars, Glock is to guns. Glock burst onto the firearms scene in 1982, when Austria first issued their Pistole 80 (model 17 to us Yanks) to law enforcement and military. Gaston's tale has been told time and time again, and I shan't have any yawns forthcoming here.

I will say however, that despite Glock's popularity, and undeniable ability to perform, I won't buy them.

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Many have the false assumption that the Glock 17 was the first polymer handgun, and was truly state of the art. Truthfully, Heckler & Koch had been churning out combat Tupperware handguns since 1970 in the form of their iconic VP70.

Remington beat them both with their Nylon 66 rifles in 1959. Even the firing mechanism is dated: Roth Steyr's model 1907 introduced one of the first strikerfired systems in... you guessed it, 1907. In the world of handguns, using design features from other firearms is commonplace, so what's so wrong when Glock does it?
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Glock's ability to rise to the most popular handgun in the world is due in part to their marketing strategy. Much like the ruthless Samuel L. Colt (God rest his saintly soul), Glock realized the benefit of proper marketing. By offering the cheaply produced pistols to law enforcement and militaries the world over at ridiculously low prices, they quickly acquired the majority of the professional market. Along with it came the rent-a-cops, neck beards, and mall ninjas; pining
to be like the real operators.

With the common man racing to their local gun shops to pick up the latest plastic blaster, Glock quickly realized where their bread and butter would come from: us. Offering huge discounts to professionals and ramping up the price to $500+ for the common man is still a brilliant business strategy.

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But it's not just taking advantage of the common man that burns me up. Glock has since started offering pistols chambered for rounds they designed (think .45 GAP), and that, to me, is heresy. There was but one man who's genius deserves the right to design both firearm and bullet, John Moses Browning. Say what you will about Colt branding his designs, his work with FN, etc.

Gaston's attempt to become the modern day Samuel L. Colt and John Moses Browning is unadulterated sin in the eyes of anyone with an appreciation for firearms history.

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I haven't even gotten to the firearms themselves. Anyone who's of the opinion that a Glock is ergonomic surely hasn't had a Browning Hi-Power, Ortgies, 1911, 1903, or any other firearm for that matter grace their palms. The triggers are garbage, the accuracy is lacking, and that god forsaken block of a firearm is plain hideous. Before I was born firearms were designed to be both functional and beautiful, obviously we can have both.

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Moving back to the car comparison. The Glock most represents a Yugo. They both are as attractive as Hillary Clinton, but my word they're reliable. Aside from being uncomfortable, unattractive, and cheaply made they ultimately share mediocrity.

Glock is successful for one reason: they're mediocre.

Humans have a programmed disposition to find the happy medium, and sadly, for firearms that happy medium is Glock. Much like our desire for improved fuel economy, reliability, and
gadgetry has killed the super cars (do they even make manual transmissions anymore?) Glock has killed the unique, special, and often unsuccessful firearms we once had the pleasure of enjoying. It's for this reason I won't buy Glock.

The little guy that so often improvised, invented, and created beautiful works of art (like the Ortgies) are lost to the business need of surviving Glock's reign. Even the old masters (Colt, S&W, etc.) are stuck manufacturing the same old song and dance (oh but for the days of countless models to choose from) just to stay afloat.

I hate Glock because they work, even though they shouldn't, but most importantly I hate Glock because they're killing the passion of firearms.

Take a stand for the little guys, don't buy a Glock.

About The Author: Some say his beard is his primary self defense tool, and that he's far to young to have any opinion on firearms.