You could have heard a pin drop

Discussion in 'Vintage Topic Archive (Sept - 2009)' started by waltham41, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. Before anyone of French heritage shoots me, please remember that I have to claim them too in my heritage. If you cant laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

    When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush.

    He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.

    You could have heard a pin drop.

    Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.

    During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

    A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electric power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

    You could have heard a pin drop.

    A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.'

    He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

    Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

    You could have heard a pin drop.


    A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

    "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

    Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

    "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

    The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

    "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

    The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn' t find any damn Frenchmen to show it to."

    You could have heard a pin drop.
  2. Thayldt21

    Thayldt21 Senior Member Member

    and the trueth shall set you free.

  3. hard to stop laughing to type. Mr. W., you get the award for the day! Well done sir.
  4. Uraijit

    Uraijit Guest

  5. Glad you guys liked it, I thought it was funny :)
  6. griff30

    griff30 Member

    GAWD DAMN Thats funny and so true.
  7. yep.... :wink:
  8. Strangerous

    Strangerous Member

    I hate French people too!

    SHOOTER Z Well-Known Member

    Several of my uncles were in WW2 as well as my dad. Dad was in the Pacific My mom's borthers [2] were in UK and Italty one day one of my uncles was accosted by an Italian tourist [this happed in Boston] My uncle just ignored him at first and when the fool wouldn't shut up [Something about all the rude Americans] My uncle turned around and asked him where he was when he was getting his butt shot at at Anzio in fluent Italian. The guy shut right up and just looked at my uncle for a minute and appologized to him and left.

    My other uncle was working at a bank one day when a french guy came in and was cussing him up a storm about something and asked my uncle if he had ever been to France and was telling him how it was so civilized there and the bankers were the greatest. My uncle looked him in the eye and told him the last time he was in France he wasn't treated very well had cold meals and no hot showers and was uncomfortable a lot and came home laying on his back. When the Fenchy asked him when all this happened he told him June 6 1944 The guy was so ashamed he appologized as well and took my uncle out to dinner they were friends till my uncle died years later
  10. Amen brother!
  11. F the french is right, When I was in paris (paris does not deserve to be spelled with a capitol p) but anyway I asked a cop for directions, that bastard sent me to the wrong side of town, had nothing but bad experiences in france, and most of the people I met were rude, I have met nicer people in large American cities, (nor france with a capitol f),
  12. 5 great uncles served in WWII... The French have no idea who their friends are, either that or they have forgotten....
  13. HPHooked

    HPHooked Member

    The bad part is its not just the French who have forgotten how the US saved their arses.

    We've sent our soldiers, relief workers, and money around the world to help others rebuild their war torn or disaster devastated countries. Yet when we have a disaster in this country and could use some help, all of a sudden we're that "Evil America that should be shunned and ignored." or "They got what they deserved."

    Funny how those same countries around the world come to us for aid when they need help. And we're STUPID enough to send our resources to try and help them when all they want to do is destroy us.

    Rant over. :x :x :x
  14. freedom

    freedom Member

    Amen brother.
  15. thats freakin awesome and so true.
  16. yall ever see the magazine for the French army?


    in all honesty, the french have only ever won 2 wars, one was a civil war against other frenchmen ( reminds me of a joke I heard about winning a medal in the special olympics), and the other time they were led by a teenage girl.... talk about one tough military machine... :roll: